The Odd Ball Knittery

I'm back

2006-09-18T09:07:00.000-03:00

Dragon sculpture by Don Pell

As Jackie so kindly reminded me the other day, vacation time is done and it’s high time some OddBall got back to work. She’s right. I’ve had a great summer off and in fact I think I’ll do it again next year.

What did I knit on my vacance? Not a bloody thing. Instead, the summer was spent with family and friends and mostly, for the OddBall, I spent some time healing up.

We did a short bike tour, details to be found at my CrazyGuyOnABike journal. I’ll not bore you all with the details here.

So, what’s the OddBall game plan? Well, this week, my friend, is all about cleaning up. The housekeeping standards in the OddBall crib have pretty much gone to rack and ruin. This is undoubtedly the result of when faced with going out for a couple of hours with Ditto on the bike or cleaning the oven, guess what won out? That’s right, the kid. Currently, I can’t actually find the studio for accumulated crap that’s been shoved in there. There’s a knitting machine under there somewhere.

The game plan then is to evict the spiders and get this place back under control. The chaos is too distracting to work in. -- yes, it actually is THAT bad. In the meanwhile, I’m mentally inventorying the ‘stash’. I went to a workshop in July (my rare break from the NO KNITTING) rule. I learned a really good technique for shawls, wraps etc and I’m looking forward to giving it a whirl.

My mind is starting to engage again. I feel enthusiastic about starting new projects where in June, the whole thing was just feeling like more tedium.

In any event, I’m back, for better or for worse. Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

Still on vacation

2006-08-05T16:55:00.000-03:00

I am still alive. Last month, when my diabetes up and kicked me in the ass, I decided to take a month off my non-stop, work 7 days a week, and actually give myself a vacation. It's been relaxing and I'm actually starting to get excited about getting back to knitting.

Soon.

Not yet.

Probably going to take another 2 weeks off but in the meanwhile, I'm biking and getting healthier.

Thanks to all who have checked in on me. It's been appreciated even if I didn't get back to you.

Thanks for reading,

Kate

Oh for a good night's sleep...

2006-06-30T08:16:00.000-03:00

Greetings to my ever-patient readers. Sorry about the disruption but I’ve been on a bit of a break. It was scheduled to be the OddBall Family annual vacation but plans got changed. This year’s interruption in service has been sponsored by Diabetes Mellitus and its ugly step cousin, Hypo Gylcemia. Nasty pair they are. I haven’t got a whole lot done because I’ve spent much of the last two weeks looking for enough sugar in my body to run my brain. Unpleasant, to say the least.

But hope is on the horizon. My insulin type and dosage was changed yesterday to something which promises to be more stable and if the Gods are willing and the wind is right, this will be the last episode of this nonsense, until of course, the next episode. Welcome to the wonderful, wacky world of diabetes, where all constants are variables and the adventure never ends.

On the knitting front, I actually have done some of it. I’m still working on the samples for the Highland Games although sad to receive the news yesterday that Jackie won’t be able to attend with us. Something about cottage, free, vacation, quiet, enjoyable, happy kids trumped Liz, me, whiskey and a thousand men in kilts. Man, she really must love those kids

Of course, July is on the horizon which means it’s Tour de France time and as the annual preamble to the greatest sporting event ever invented, it’s doping, doping and more doping. Things are so bad this year that any minute now I expect the phone to ring with some sporting director seeing if the OddBall IT and Technical Support Division is ready to make the Tour as a last minute rider. Yup, things are that desperate. As of this morning, Ullrich, Basso and Lord knows who else is sitting on the sidelines. Nice.

Idiots.

I’m so glad that the Spanish criminal authorities are in the loop on this one. The sporting authorities have repeatedly demonstrated that they couldn’t catch a cold on a good day. Now, maybe, just maybe, we’ll have a proper investigation to this matter. And not that any professional cyclists read this blog, but here goes the OddBall opinion anyway. I’ve spent the best part of the last month trying to manage a chronic illness and literally going to bed wondering if I’ll wake up in the morning, only to be jolted out of sleep by my body screaming for help. My work mates have been keeping an eagle eye on me and my reactions, so I don’t actually kill someone. I have very little sympathy for these lads. They want to play with needles, they ought come try out my needles for a while. The real problem is mine come with a life sentence and it’s a shortened one at that.

Okay, back to the bit of tying knots in string -- no, really, I feel better for that rant, honest -- I’ve managed to block all the pieces for the felted briefcase and I think I’ve finalized the plan of attack for putting it together. I have managed to get some serious pondering done in the last couple of weeks.

I haven’t got a damn thing done on Miss Flirty Ruffles, which is fine. I’ll play with her after the Highland Games.

In any event, here’s to hope that normal service will be restored and I’ll be back to the needles and the Blog in record time.

Talk at you’se laters; thanks for reading.

Catch up

2006-06-21T06:11:00.000-03:00

Blocking the Blues

Yeah, I know. As ‘Bloggers go, I suck this month. I’ve been negligent. It happens and happily, this time it’s happened because I’m actually getting something done. This would be quite distinct from the number of times I’ve been a Bad Blogger for no reason other than I’m laying in the foetal position in the middle of the living room floor sucking my thumb over something.

The Felted Briefcase, after several attempts and no small amount of cursing, is felted. It’s not exactly in its finalized briefcase format because…well, I just haven’t got it that far yet, now have I? I’m waiting for hardware to arrive and the pieces are still drying.

Miss Flirty Ruffles turns 135

Miss Flirty Ruffles is mid-way through Chart 4 of 873. Actually, it’s not that bad. I’m 135 rows into the 236 rows for the main body. Note to non-knitters: that’s not anywhere near half ways because I’m knitting a triangle and it gets bigger by 4 stitches every 2 rows. In yarn terms, I’m about ½ way through Ball # 1 of 3. It’s moved onto the circulars which makes it much nicer for knitting.

I’ve been reading some of the Amazing Lace columns and it seems that a lot of knitters, lace knitters anyway, hate Addi needles. I’m of the “you’ll get my Addi-Turbos when you pry them from my cold, dead hand” school myself. Apparently, they prefer Inox needles because they have a sharper point. I need to check these out for myself at some point, but it’s not today. Doesn’t help that my LYS doesn’t carry Inox. In the meanwhile, Miss Flirty and I are going great guns with the Addis.

And I’m still knitting samples for the Shetland lace display at the NB Highland Games. In short, I'm too busy knitting to write about it. Next week, I’m going to be equally negligent. It’s the time of year for the OddBall Family to literally pack up the tent and go play in the rain -- yup, it’s les vacances de la famille Excentrique, heading to the fogbanks of the Bay of Fundy for a week. All members of the tribe are expected to survive the experience, only because Momma will be packing the gin.

Talk to you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

It doesn't look like much...

2006-06-15T20:06:00.000-03:00

Batteries not included

This pile of plunder is a briefcase. Some assembly required.

No fur-bearing animals were harmed during the creation of this briefcase. Allergy alert: may contain nutmeg , but we doubt it. Return for refund where applicable. Not recommended for persons with caffeine-restricted diets. Batteries are not included -- best of luck finding them. May cause irritability, sleeplessness or fractured molars after prolonged use. Contents under pressure. BHT added to preserve freshness. Shake well before using. No vacuum tubes or other user-serviceable parts inside. Do not operate under water.

I'll let you all know if me and the briefcase are still on speaking terms after it goes for The Big Wash.Probably not... damn thing hates me already.

Talk at you'se all laters ; thanks for reading.

Because I need another project...

2006-06-09T20:01:00.000-03:00

Field of Flowers

What’s up at the Knittery these days?

Well, I’ve been mostly occupied with the fun and games that come with being a Momma…orthodontist appointments and et cetera. I hate having to run here, there and everywhere to look after these details. I know, it makes me your nominee for Mother of the Year but good grief, it makes accomplishing something just a tad on the difficult side.

Bitching aside, I have managed to actually do something. I’ve finished most of the machine knitting for the felted briefcase and I’ve overdyed 2 skeins of yarn for the remaining section. Just waiting for it to dry so I can knit it up and then it’s all going into the big felting machine in the basement. Undoubtedly, that’s when the cursing will start in earnest.

I carefully calculated the amount of material I need for this and then basically added either 8 stitches or 8 rows in all directions. The main body of what I’m doing is done in black wool and it felts like a dream. What I’m really trying to avoid is going to sew the bag together and find out I’m ¾s of an inch short right at the worst possible place. You know it would happen, so the fudge factor was factored in. I’m probably still off by a factor of about 10. Me and felting -- sometimes it works and sometimes, not so hot.

To help me relax with the machine knitting -- let’s face it, that thing is just WORK -- I’m still beavering away on Miss Flirty Ruffles. I think I’m at row 108 or something, almost finished Chart # 3 in any event. It’s getting knit away intermittently with the latest latest project.

Every July, here in Fredericton, we host the NB Highland Games. It’s a celebration of all things Scottish, from pipe bands, and Highland Dance competitions, caber tossing and other Scottish games, whiskey tasting, Gaelic language lessons, Gaelic choirs, tartan weavers, etc, etc. This year is the 25th anniversary of the Games and in honour of that, I’m putting together a static display on Shetland lace. Eventually, I would like to have a full display on Scottish knitting in general, but realistically, the only thing I’ll get done this year is some lace samples.

Above is sample one -- Field of Flowers on both stocking stitch background and garter stitch background. Obviously, I have a few more to knit up between now and the end of July.

Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

Mystery Swatch Revealed!!!

2006-06-07T05:21:00.000-03:00

Absolutely nothing like this

A rose is a rose is a rose and sometimes, a swatch is a swatch is a swatch.

The yellow swatch posted earlier was exactly that -- a swatch. It’s not going to become anything although it might get sacrificed to the wool gods yet when I need little bits of yellow stuff cut out of felt.

But, OddBall, you said it was Step 1 of some mystery project? Well, yes, my little partridges, I didn’t lie to you or even dissemble. It’s the first step in me figuring out how to build a felted briefcase. The felted briefcase is envisioned to be exactly like the one picture above except for the few adjusted details noted below:

Different colour
Different yarn in both brand and weight
No buttons, beads or windings
Different or no buckles
Different handles
No dangly lariat thing
Different motif design
Completely different construction

But other than that, it’s exactly like the one pictured above and, in interests of credit where credit is due, was found in the Winter 2005 issue of Knitter’s magazine. I loved the idea of a felted bag but for starters, there is no way on God’s little green earth that Mrs MacKay’s idiot daughter Kate is going to hand-knit a bag to felt the living tar out of it. It is not happening.

And I’m not into that whole SouthWest motif thing. And why would I use anything other than my good old home grown Briggs & Little when I’m planning to beat the living jebesus out of it in the first place? And I don’t like the construction technique for the corners. I thing they can be sharpened up a bit. Okay, I like the leather wrap on the handles but don’t like the handles, per se. And I’m all for the feet on the bottom of it. And the dimensions probably work for me. But other than that, it’s about to be OddBall’d all to Hell and gone.

The point of doing the swatch was because at some point in the design of this here briefcase, I’m going to have to figure out how many stitches and how many rows, etc, etc, etc. So, in the interests of being scientific, instead of my usual eyeballing it, I crank up the knitting machine. Eyeballing it doesn’t work so well when step 2 of the project involves lots of hot water and about 5 cycles through the washing machine. Enter the 100 stitches by 100 rows swatch. When I’m finished felting it, I’ll have an idea of how many stitches I need to cast on for each piece.

Other than that, knitting has been somewhat boring around here. A bit more has been done on Miss Flirty Ruffles. The Addi-Turbo circulars just arrived so I can switch off the straight needles.

I’ve knit 4 stockings for felting, along with some do-dads to go on the other socks. They’re in this felting run through. I would have had 5 stocks finished but, alas, I ran out of navy yarn about 30 feet short of the finish line on the last and of course, it was the last skein in captivity. I feel a Briggs & Little run coming on shortly but I’m trying to hold out a little while longer. The stash is getting to the almost manageable stage and I’d like to keep it there for a while.

In any event, work to do. In this case, it’s the work I actually get paid for but I’m off the night shifts. Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

Happy Birthday, Jackie...

2006-06-06T22:37:00.000-03:00

Our birthday girl

Jackie pulled off the birthday Trefecta...booze (and booze supplies), yarn and the shirt off the bartender's back. Literally. You go, girl!

Don't tell Nigel, but actually, the shirt looks better on Jackie than him. NO editorial comments will be made on said bartender stripped to the waist.

Talk to you'se all laters; thanks for reading.

Swatch This Space

2006-06-06T09:26:00.000-03:00

Step 1

It's a 100 row by 100 stitch block of Briggs & Little single ply knit on the machine. It's step 1. Step 1 to what? More on that later but I'm off right now to a doctor's appointment that I've waited ONLY 18 months to get seen. I don't think I'll miss it in the interests of schmoozing with you lot.

Right now, I just stuck it up there because I'm really blogging to wish Jackie a very happy birthday. Pop on over to One Thread Two Thread and give her your best wishes. See the rest of you at the pub tonight.

Talk at you'se all laters; thanks for reading.

The Amazing Lace Challenge

2006-06-04T10:22:00.000-03:00

My Amazing Lace Companion

Well, I went and giddy-upped and go’ed and joined the summer knit along “The Amazing Lace”.

Why? I have no earthy idea why I do these things to myself. Perhaps a vain attempt to keep myself focussed on a project, or six. In any event, the organizers of the Knit Along are looking for members to make regular contributions on their blogs about the project and that’s what this column is about. It’s the June 4th , Amazing Lace knit along official introduction column, in which I introduce myself and the project to the fellow lace-aholics. Regular readers of this column might want to give it a pass.

So, down to brass tacks. I’m Kate. I’m 43, live in Fredericton, NB, Canada with my husband, child and a spoiled rotten cat. They are usually referred to in this blog as The OddBall IT and Technical Support Division, Ditto and the Terrorist. I dispatch police cars for a living and to keep myself sane, I knit. I have many friends and acquaintances who will tell you that the knitting as sanity saving strategy isn’t working too well but what do they know? Most of them are weavers. Not a group you’d describe as having all their oars in the water, if you get my drift.

I wasn’t always a lace knitter. No…once upon a time I was a regular, ordinary, functional sane knitter. I knit a few sweaters, which for the record I hate knitting. They are huge commitments and I get bored easily. I knit hats and scarves and mitts and more of the same. I was a good knitter and then I got a knitting machine. I went all high tech and that was the end of me.

For the record, I like the knitting machine. I just haven’t figured out what all to do with it really other than it’s handy for knitting stuff to felt. Let’s face it, it’s a total waste of time to hand knit something and then shrink the living daylights out of it. For this sort of entertainment and amusement, you can’t beat a knitting machine. With felting projects, the knitting is the least of the process. It’s what you do to get to where you can have some fun.

But it’s not knitting for the process of knitting. Now before 8000 machine knitters descend upon this column and batter me about the head and shoulders for the aforementioned comment, I’m not dissing the machine. I own two of them and you’d be hard pressed to get me to part with either. Having said that, they also lack the satisfaction of hand knitting…the shaping and twisting of string to make a coherent shape. And for me, there’s nothing on earth that beats lace knitting for that sense of accomplishment. I mean, really, it’s just a mass of knotted bloody string but oh-la-la, what a mass. I like the persnickity bits of knitting lace. I like watching it unfold and seeing how a k2tog shapes differently than a sl1, k1, psso. I like seeing how twisted stitches add subtle texture and lines that draw the eye.

I’m also taking a bit of a break from the skull sweat involved in designing. I just designed a shawl for charity and I spent enough time ripping, frogging, scrapping and throwing my hands up in the air to last me a while. Right now, I’m in the mood to just follow the damn instructions, will ya? It doesn’t happen often but that’s where my head is.

So for the Amazing Lace challenge, I’ve opted for a commercially available pattern so I don’t have to work out a darn thing. Some very clever designer has already done it for me. In this case, the very clever one is Dorothy Siemens of Fiddlesticks Knitting, right here in Canada. I’ve chosen the Flirty Ruffles Shawl, forever more to be referred to as Miss Flirty Ruffles. It’s based on the traditional lace pattern “Print o’ the Wave” and it’s very nice. It’s an intermediate level pattern with nothing too weird in it. I’m not even going to work out yarn choices on this one. In spite of the fact I have about a zillion miles of silk and/or silk blend yarns in this joint, all undyed and waiting for a project, I grabbed 3 balls of Jaggerspun Zephyr Wool-Silk blend in ice blue right off the shelf and a pair of 3.25 mm needles. No swatching involved. I’m not in the mood to think or scheme or figure out how to make it work. I want to relax and just knit the damn thing.

Speaking of which, I just finished row 100 of the main shawl body and I may be writing a fan letter to Dorothy Siemens before this is over. For those of you who have never used a Fiddlesticks Knitting pattern and this was a first for me, and may have been put off by what looks like a high sticker price at the shop, forget it. The patterns are worth every cent of their retail cost. I can’t remember the last time I worked with such an easy pattern. The charts are very clear, large enough to see and well documented. The instructions assume you don’t know how to do this already and leave nothing to guess-timation. I’m impressed. It’s one of the nicest commercial patterns I’ve ever worked with and it’s made the first 100 rows a very enjoyable experience.

The shawl itself is easy to work on. The pattern repeat is only 17 stitches long and while I’m obviously still glued to the charts, it’s easy to remember blocks of stitches and not be continually looking back to find your place on the chart. And with only 17 stitches, it’s easy to rip back when you’ve made the inevitable boo-boo.

The yarn? Dreamy. The softness of merino, the strength of silk. Can you get any nicer on the hands than that? I think not.

So, there you have it … the Amazing Lace Team for the summer of 2006 consisting of Miss Flirty Ruffles and one OddBall, tied together with a bit of wool and silk.

And that’s a wrap for now. Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

NO, I'm not on vacation

2006-06-01T12:18:00.000-03:00

Yup, it's red alright

Well, the productivity levels around this joint have pretty much dropped to nothing. I think the only thing I’ve managed to knit completely is a ruffle for a Christmas sock and a couple of do-dad corkscrew thingies for another. They still haven’t been felted.

Never fear, this does not mean that there is a whole lot of spare time going to be happening around here. Recently I decided, as in last weekend recent, that if I had to spend another minute looking at the ratty old dirty ugly horrid hand-me-down sofa in my living room, some one is going to get hurt. My place is pretty much decorated in Early Student Loan …still … in spite of the fact that schooling was long, long ago. In fact, it was so long ago that the student loans for both of us are actually paid off and have been for a decade and we’re now eyeballing tuition costs for Ditto. But I digress…

In any event, after this many years, the OddBall IT and Technical Support Division knows well enough to not argue with me when I’ve got a full-head of steam under me and my knickers in a twist. The sofa was going. That was IT and the least painful route for him is to just nod, smile sagely,drive me to the furniture store and make plans to move whatever is going to need to be hauled, moved, juggled or rearranged. Like everything else, one thing leads to another to another to another and what started out as something simple, becomes an official PROJECT.

The purchase of the sofa (mid brown leather) begat the need for new paint on the walls, which meant coming up with a ’colour scheme’. For the record, it is chilli pepper red, light sand and paper grey. Two walls are going the OH MY GOD THAT IS RED red. Did I mention it was red? Very red. Tres rouge, even. And like all dark paints, it’s a son of a gun to apply. I’ve just rolled on coat # 3, after two coats of ¼ tint primer and we’ll be looking at another coat before I’m done. That’s what I’ve been doing when I’m not solving the world’s problems over a cup of coffee with Liz after going to the paint shop to buy yet another gallon of OMG That's RED red.

In the mean while, Miss Flirty Ruffles the Shawl is getting picked away at. I just finished row 85 which reminds me I need to write a column for the Amazing Lace Knit Along. What possessed me to sign up, etc? Personally, I’m going with the “gamma rays from the Planet Xeon make me knit big things on little itty bitty things needles” theory but I might be wrong on that. I’ve been wrong before you know (Feb 16, 1973 to be exact).

It gives me something to do with my hands while I’m plotting felted throw cushions. I have them on the brain in a serious way these days. In fact, I think I’ll go knit up some yardage right this minute and get a jump on that.

Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

No, I'm not exactly insane. Yet.

2006-05-28T03:52:00.000-03:00

This is the goal post

Question of the Month: How long can an OddBall go without a lace shawl in her life?

Answer: Apparently not longer than 6 days.

The Shawl Time Forgot was shipped to Colorado on Friday. By Sunday, I had been lured over to Jackie’s house to see her new shawl pattern and answer a question she had. I started to feel the pangs of withdrawal. She even emailed me a second shawl pattern. I went home and started fondling parts of the stash and looking longingly at my big book of shawl patterns and leafing through my binder(s) of dream projects. I’ve got a zillion miles of angora/silk blend that needs something done with it…

I spent the next two nights dreaming about lace shawls. And stoles. Stoles work too. I considered dragging out my Faux Russian Stole and getting it cranked off the needles and that’s still a possibility but I’m really, really in the mood for something done on piano wires with dental floss and it's in B&L singles on 6 mms. You know how it is. You get something stuck in your mind and there is no denying it. The Faux Russian Shawl just isn't going to cut it.

“No”, I said to myself, in a very firm and business like manner. “I’m going to be sensible and knit socks this summer.” Socks are the perfect summer hand knitting project. They’re easy and portable and fit into my bike bags with a minimum of fuss. They don’t require charts, graphs, magnifying scopes, stitch markers (okay, 2 stitch markers), rulers, pencils, photocopiers, highlights and tables of code interpretation. Socks need none of that stuff. I can knit socks in my sleep. They are brainless and I would be so very happy with it all when it’s fall and time for socks. Oh yes, I know I will.

And this is where I'm to

I lasted until Thursday. I should have known better than to walk into Singer with lace on my brain because what was the very firstest thing to look at when I walked in the door? Fiddlesticks knitting patterns. And a new shipment of merino/tussah silk blend yarn in more yummy colours than I can even talk about.

Socks? What freaking socks? Who the hell needs socks in July? So much for the practical plans.

It’s entirely Jackie’s fault. No, really, it is. I was doing well and then she had to get involved and now it’s lace on the needles again. Isn’t it pretty?

Talk at you’se all laters. I need to go start Chart # 3. Thanks for reading.

PS: Yes, I know. There are such things as lace socks. I even knit a pair (okay, one and 3/4s of a pair and then I lost the pattern and probably the 3/4s and I think I tossed the one last month, but you are SOOOOOOOOOOOO missing the point. I want wrappy, gauzy, flowy, fluttery, miles and miles and miles of bloody "k2, ssk, yo, k2, sl1, k1, psso...". Perhaps only the lace knitting addicts "get it". The sane portion of the population just goes crosseyed and wishes us luck.

OddBall Cargo Services

2006-05-25T08:34:00.000-03:00

Not the wierdest thing to get strapped to my bike but decidedly Top 10 material.

By the way, it's a skein winder, enroute to Liz's place for a sleep over. I think it's dating her loom...shhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

It's nap time; talk to you'se all laters. Thanks for reading.

Trinity Stich Shawl Revisited

2006-05-24T13:16:00.000-03:00

A shawl revisited

Sometimes there’s a bonus feature associated with doing the right thing. For those of you who have had to listen to me prattle on (and on and on) about the shawl I did for the Tyler Hamilton Foundation, you’ve already been subjected to the blocking woes.

Yeah, I know but here comes yet another instalment and for those of you who thought that the shawl being delivered in Colorado meant I would finally shut up about it, keep dreaming. As recent readers of this Blog already know, the shawl was huge and it turned out, I decided it had to be blocked during the recent monsoon season in the Maritimes. Though the jigs and the reels, and considerable consultation over small cans of fermented hops, it was decided by the assemblage of fibre people that the building of a blocking frame was the way to go.

One idiot trip to the local lumber store later and with considerable patience and perseverance from the OddBall IT and Technical Support Division, and a blocking frame materialized in the basement. One big ass silk shawl was pinned to it and dried and that was the end of that. Or so one would think.

This morning, I was contemplating tearing the thing apart because an 8’ x 8’ lumber frame wrapped in a gold mystery fibre blanket is a bit of an obstacle to navigation. Then it came to me that I’ve never really properly blocked the Trinity Stitch Shawl because I never had enough uninterrupted space to do the deed. That excuse apparently doesn’t hold up to scrutiny anymore at the OddBall Crib. And here, Jackie thought I would be months, if not years, before I used it again.

Voila…one blocked shawl, now drying, while I contemplate its fate. This is the shawl I worked on while my mom was in palliative care last year. It was a very comforting project for me while I sat the night shifts by her bed. I guess I have a bit of a sentimental attachment to this one and I’ve never decided if I’m going to keep it for myself or if I’m going to put it up for sale. In any event, I’ll be better able to make the decision once it’s truly finished. In its unblocked state, it was a bit small for me but I think that’s been rectified with blocking.

In any event, it’s the night shift for me tonight. Time for me to go have a nap. Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

Details, details, details

2006-05-23T23:03:00.000-03:00

C'est moi

Holy blooming foliage!!! Asthma season is in high gear. Every wheezer I know, including myself, was gasping today. Hopefully, it will soon be past us all.

Other than sticking close to my inhalers, it’s been a good day. The Shawl That Time Forgot arrived in Boulder without any horror stories to accompany it. I received an email from Deirdre Moynihan from the Tyler Hamilton Foundation saying they won’t be raffling it off this weekend. She has other plans for it and that’s fine with me. It’s just nice to know it found its way to its new home.

Today was a day where I did pretty much a whole lot of nothing. Given the state of my lungs, I decided not to use the knitting machine. A lot of wool dust gets thrown up when I’m knitting and it’s just not worth the agony. So I did some other things.

One was making hang tags. I’ve only been threatening to do that for about six months now. It was one of those little jobs that kept getting shuffled to the bottom of the deck. One of those “I need to do that tomorrow” deals where tomorrow never actually arrives. Today, it was tomorrow and I did the deed.

I’d like to say it was because I had a sudden attack of productivity but actually, it’s about the fact that I finally got off my can and opened an Etsy shop. eBay just didn’t do much for me -- like it didn’t work whatsoever. My listings never listed properly and after listing twice, I just said ‘forget this shite’ and moved on. The Etsy thing makes way more sense for handcraft. It doesn’t make a lot of sense for me to be ‘competing’ where off-shore knock-off crap is being sold for 99 cents. At least on Etsy, I’m in the proper category - handcraft by artisans. Besides, the listings stay on for six months or until they’re sold. In any event, hang tags were now a necessity and now they are done.

So how do you all like the new layout for the Blog? It’s spring and I’ve had the same design for the past year. I decided to give the place a new coat of paint and freshen it up a bit.

I’ve got a couple of socks to sew up so I’d best get back at it. Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

It's done and gone...

2006-05-19T22:38:00.000-03:00

The year that was

Hard to believe but The Shawl That Time Forgot has grown up and headed west to seek her fame and fortune in the US. I hope it makes some money for the Tyler Hamilton Foundation.

For better or worse, it’s out of the OddBall crib, mistakes and all. There are a couple of mistakes in it but to correct them, I’d have to unwind the entire shawl. It wasn’t happening, particularly when two independent observers couldn’t see them until they were pointed out to them. Of course, to my eye, they were about as obvious as an elephant’s tracks through a lemon meringue pie.

Blocking it was an adventure. There were several false starts, mostly starting at the lumber store. I said I was going to Wilkins. I should have stuck with that plan but by the time I biked over to the OddBall IT and Technical Support’s office to pick up the car -- the one day this month he had it -- I was half-way to Kent’s. I had repressed entirely what morons they are. Here’s the upshot -- they sold me four 1x2s. The problem was they didn’t actually have any. Nice. I ended up with 2x2s at a cheaper price because the 1x2s they sold me were knotty pine. I guess the part of the explanation where I mentioned I was making a frame to staple a big assed sheet to it was lost. I don’t know if men have these kinds of experience in Kent’s but I know every time I darken the doorstep, it ends up taking me at least an hour longer than it should and usually three arguments with staff members. Okay, one time it was understandable when I was ordering roll upon roll of galvanized steel wire -- something like a quarter-mile of it before I was done.

“What are you doing with all that wire?”

“Knitting it.”

He got a rather strange look on his face, but what do you make YOUR chain maille from?

But other than that, my trips to the lumber store aren’t all that strange. They’re usually pretty simple and nothing weird in the order. 2x4s, 1x2s. And every single time, they get something messed up. Wednesday was no different. After buying the four sticks of non-existent 1x2s, I ended up settling for 2x2s at a much cheaper price. Liz wouldn’t be surprised. It’s hardly the first project I’ve tackled that was over engineered by 50%.

We tried setting up at Liz’s house and it probably would have worked, except she was dealing with a sick kid and it would have meant trapping one boy child on the couch, completely separated from the bathroom by a big assed chunk of silk shawl. Not workable.

Bless the OddBall IT and Technical Support Division. He set the frame up in one room of the basement and when I decided I needed more room to move around it, he tore it down and set it up in another room. Finally, it worked out and an hour later, the shawl was blocked. Surprisingly, with all the reefing, hauling and pulling, only one beading cluster let loose when I was blocking.

It’s been almost a full year from start to finish. I was looking at my records and I dyed the silk for the shawl on May 26, 2005 and it’s going for sale/raffle in Boulder on the May 26th weekend of this year. Nice sense of symmetry. The circle of time has come full rotation. It's time to move on, all of us.

How could I give it away? It’s a question asked of me a lot lately. It’s really not hard. It’s time for the shawl to go make her way in the world. I just hope whoever ends up with her loves her as dearly as I did.

Talk to you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

Closing in on the finish.

2006-05-18T23:21:00.000-03:00

Almost finished pinning

There it is -- big ol' shawl defined. It's off to its new home in Colorado tomorrow. I have mixed feelings on waving goodbye.

In the meanwhile, I need some sleep and it needs to dry.

Talk at you'se all tomorrow; thanks for reading.

Time to get the lead out.

2006-05-17T16:27:00.000-03:00

Almost goodbye

Well, it’s giddy-up go time at the Knittery. After several false starts and a bit of “Tag, you’re it”, Deirdre Moynihan from the Tyler Hamilton Foundation and I managed to get on the same telephone wire at the same time to have ourselves a chin wag. After the usual pleasantries, it was down to figuring out what to do with The Shawl That Time Forgot, aka The Truth Against the World aka What the Hell was I Thinking and Why Is the Room Still Spinning?

It turns out the Foundation has a very good forum to get rid of the darn shawl during some type of festival or some such thing in Boulder, Colorado. The catch, and you knew there had to be a catch, is that it’s coming up soon. Like the American Memorial Day weekend soon. For those of you north of that big line on the map, that would be the weekend after our weekend.

All in all, this ought not cause too much of a headache. Deirdre kindly offered to pick up the tab on shipping the blessed thing to the US of A. The downside of this is that it’s absolutely, totally, no kidding, has to leave here Monday noon at the latest to be guaranteed to be in Colorado before the weekend. Actually, UPS promises it’ll be there by Thursday but I’ve learned to build in the fudge factor when it comes to shipping promises. Still, it’s do-able. Today is Wednesday. Even I, the lazy arsed bucket mouth that I am can manage to pack that shawl up and haul it down to the UPS depot before Monday.

There is, of course, a wrinkle in the plan. Nothing in the OddBall Universe goes according to plan and the wrench in the proverbial works is the weather. The shawl needs to be blocked. It’s not an option to ship it unblocked and this requires two things. Space and dry weather. We’ve figured out the space bit. I need to build a blocking frame from some 1 x 2s. This is the easy bit.

The slightly more challenging part is going to be getting it to stop raining long enough to dry it. The storm system that was stalled over New England and beating the crap out of them has started moving into the Maritimes. It’s straight rain and 100% humidity from here until…you guess it… Monday.

“Egads!”, she exclaimed.

Okay, this necessitates the formulation of plan number two, which is actually probably Plan # 16, but who keeps track of such things? Technically, there is a block of uninterrupted floor space in the basement of this place. It’s not ideal conditions but necessity is the mother of invention. I’m off to get Gerald at Wilkins’ Building Supplies to hurry up with those 1 x 2s and I’ve press ganged Liz, the bestest friend ever, into giving me a hand tomorrow lacing this puppy to the frame. Hope she’s handy with a hair-dryer too.

Ohhhh, ohhhh, scrap that…we’re into Version 2 of Plan 16 because Monday is a holiday here in Canada means that the UPS depot is NOT open on Monday and if there’s any shipping to be done, this puppy needs to be shipped by Friday. I’m going to have a coronary before this is over. Okay, talk you you’se all laters; I have way too many people left to annoy today to dawdle anymore here. Thanks for reading.

PS to God: Please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaase, remember the Gunners are playing in Paris today. Thank you.

A glorious OddBall moment

2006-05-14T21:53:00.000-03:00

One Done Shawl

Probably a day late and a dollar short, but finally, finally, FINALLY, the shawl for the Tyler Hamilton Foundation is done. I mean, Done...

yeeeeerpss...one moment please...

Apparently, the photographer has found a missed beading point. But other than that, it is done. I mean, really done.

Except for the blocking. But, but, but..you bunch of nay-sayers....on the bright side we've pretty much figured out the HOW we're going to block this monster. Unblocked, it's kicking in at excess of 6 feet in diameter. I don't have that much uninterupted flat surface anywhere in the house. I think we're looking at a good 7 feet in diameter when it's all said and done so we (that would be Liz, Jackie, and me) are building a blocking frame for it, probably next week.

But that's on next week's "to do" list. This week's "to do" list was to complete and submit the application for the Artist's Residency at the Soldiers Barracks' Casemates. It's done. It's sent. It's so over.

In any event, it's bed time for this Bonzo because I'm working days tomorrow and the wakey-waky bit is at a ridiculous hour. Talk at you'se all laters; thanks for reading.

An Oddball Quickie

2006-05-11T11:03:00.000-03:00

Socks and more socks

As you can see, things have been happening around the Knittery. Right now, I'm off to pick Liz up and see if we can't do some damage at Fabricville. I just wanted to show off the progress of things so far.

I'll write more later; thanks for reading.

For the birds

2006-05-08T08:59:00.000-03:00

Christmas dove

It’s going to be a short column today because I’m in the mad dash to get some work done, not to mention some laundry done, before I’m off to the real job, you know, the one that actually pays the bills.

I have several socks all felted and now it’s decoration time. This one is pretty much done by my way of thinking. I’m trying to get some serious work accomplished between now and Friday because the application for the Arts residency is on May 15th and I’d like to include these as well.

Actually, it's a partridge, sans pear tree

As you can see, needle felting is the weapon of choice for a while. And yes, we all know I’ll be sticking some shiny, shiny beads on at least some of them. As Jackie put it, “I want to see them when they’re fully blinged.” This week is dedicated to the blinging of the socks.

And probably more laundry.

Okay, I’m off now to hang some laundry on the line. Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

An OddBall Snafu.

2006-05-04T16:17:00.000-03:00

An OddBall disaster

The morning started off productively enough. I was up and at’em early in the morning. I was dressed, had the blog written and was fully caffeinated well before 8:30 am.

I wound some balls of wool from skeins and was just settling down to a good day’s knitting, when the earth moved, and not by means approved by our Diana. No, I had inadvertently hooked the back of my chair on a support piece of the wire shelving that holds the ‘wall of wool’ next to the knitting machine and when I pulled myself up the knitting machine, the support came with me.

Gravity ensued. The resulting carnage is pictured above. That’ll teach me to get all smug about actually getting ahead on something around here. Fortunately, no OddBalls were (seriously) injured in this bit of buffoonery. My dignity, however, took a bit of a shellacking.

Of course the Odd Ball IT and Technical Support Division was at work, which probably was a good thing. Not that I couldn’t have used an extra hand when I was trying to simultaneously hold up the shelving unit, unload it and unhook my chair. However, his absence ensured that he didn’t laugh at my plight and that alone saved me from having to kill him.

So, the day got off to an official good start by yet another errand to be run. This one was to Home Hardware to pick up cable zip ties. Not that there wouldn’t be 973 000 of the damn things in this house somewhere but the IT and Technical Support Division is feigning ignorance on the subject. Specifically, I got "yes, we have them and damned if I know where they are." Now that's what you call Technical Assistance.

All along, I’ve known that I needed to figure out something to make the wire shelving more stable but it wasn’t until I was literally digging my way out from under it that it came to me. Three hours and one hundred zip ties later and I dare say that shelf isn’t going anywhere in a hurry. In the meanwhile, my hands are cut to pieces from tightening them down. I like the directions on the zip ties…snug up the tie and cut off the excess. Cut it off with what? Because, I am here to tell you, it’s not scissors. I even dug out a pair of wire cutters (useless) and another pair of shears. A couple look like I gnawed them off with my teeth, which probably would have been faster.

Order hath been restored

On the bright side, the studio really needed to be dusted, cleaned and vacuumed. And I found one of the claw weights that had been among the missing for a while.

Tomorrow is another day. . Now if you’ll all excuse me, I’m going to go pour myself a nice shot of whiskey. Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading

Sock season at the Knittery

2006-05-04T07:57:00.000-03:00

Socks to dry

Yesterday I attempted to write this Blog about a dozen times but it turned out I was too busy doing to write about it. That occasionally happens around this place. I get blinded by the dust bunnies, trip over my work ethic and get down to brass tacks, as they say.

So what all did I manage to accomplish yesterday? I varnished the stocking blockers and finished up the pile of socks to felt and ran them through the wash a few times. I knit a couple of more socks, worked on my application for the Artist in Residence program and ran errands.

Yes, the old running of the errands. Why is it that job takes up half a day, regardless of what needs to be done. A trip to Staples always morphs into something much, much more and predictably, this one did as well. It was the classic case of ‘while I’m at the top of the hill, I might as well….” and it was all downhill from there from a time management perspective. Part of the ‘problem’ is that I largely haul my carcass around on a bike in the summer and the mall district in Fredericton is at the top of a gia-normous hill with a relentless 10% grade over a 3 km stretch. It’s a challenge walking DOWN it, let alone biking up it. I have done it a couple of times because they stuck the diabetes management clinic at the top of it as well but yesterday was so not the day.

I really hate ‘errand day’. I hate having my routine interrupted, I hate that it distracts from what I want to be doing and most of all, I hate that I spend huge wads of money every time I head out of the house. And yesterday, the drivers in Fredericton were particularly irritating, which did nothing for my mood. And don’t get me started on the parking bit…

Honesty, I’m in so much better mood when I use my bike. Honest. I wouldn’t lie to you.

In any event, this is actually a knitting blog as opposed to a biking blog, so perhaps I could get back to the topic at hand, or foot, as the case might be.

I felted the Christmas stockings I had done up and I really need to talk to Jack about making some more stocking blockers. I have 6 of the little ones and I’m going to probably make many more smaller socks than the big ones. And it costs me the same amount of money to felt 20 socks as it does to felt one -- so logically, I might as well make it a machine load when I do it.

I’ve got the knitting down to about 45 minutes and it takes another 15 minutes to sew up the back seam and close the toe. Now comes the fun part, decorating them. I can’t wait for this batch to get dried so I can start in on them.

Therapy socks done

I finished the Therapy Socks the other day. And officially, I hate them. As predicted the knit is too loose for my tastes. I even washed them up last night, hoping they’d straighten around but it’s that damn super-wash wool, and you know what that crap is like…completely useless. Not a hope in Hades of shrinking these things. Oh well, they’ll do. They fulfilled their purpose of keeping me from losing my mind and that’s the important bit. I think there will be a lot of socks knit this summer, however, none of them on 3.5 mm needles. Too loose.

In any event, I’m off to conquer the knitting machine. Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

Month end wrap up

2006-04-30T09:34:00.000-03:00

Done beading

Yes, yes, yes, I know, I’ve been a very bad Blogger. Negligent even.

Things around the Knittery have been going great guns, other than I haven’t got off my can long enough to write about it. The first announcement, and this really ought to be proceeded by a drum roll and/or flashes of lightening…

The beading on The Shawl That Time Forgot is done.

As in

Done.

Let me translate that for the members of the audience still too hung over to fully comprehend…

DONE.

The beading, that is. 175 little dangly bits later, what still awaits? I need to make the central medallion and install it and I need to sew the storage bag. I’m thinking it’s all do-able. Watch this space for the date and time of the launch party, which will be at the Lunar Rogue because that’s where they have the best selection of Scotch whiskey in town. We’ll drop a dram or two and seal the sucker into a big-assed box and then it’s all point, click and ship to Colorado and it officially becomes the property and problem of the Tyler Hamilton Foundation. Enjoy.

Would I do it again? Probably not for a couple of weeks, although I confess, I’ve got a couple of ideas kicking around in my head… I know. I really need to have a safe dropped on my head or something to knock some sense into me.

Big ol' pile o'socks

It’ll be a while before I tackle another charity project. Right now, I need to spend some time on ME. One of the things that needs to be done in the next two weeks is completing my application for the Fredericton Arts Alliance Artist in Residence program. I would like to do a one-week residency this summer down in the Soldiers’ Barracks region of the Garrison District in Fredericton. It’s part of the tourist thing and I think it would be a blast. Applications are due on May 15th which means I really need to get cracking.

I’m all into the felted socks these days. I think I’ll make Christmas socks for sale and do a series of them for the Residency program. They’re nice, an easy project that doesn’t involve 175 beading points and I can finish in less that 8 months. Right now, these attributes are terribly attractive to me. I wonder why?

I haven’t done any more on the Therapy sock, but it’s night shift tonight so I might get a bit done on it. It’s grass fire season so we’re rather hopping in that department.

In the meanwhile, the weather has been great, my asthma has been behaving and I’m spending a lot of time on Duchess. It’s so nice to go for a bike ride and have my legs hurt before my lungs.

Well, I need to get back to the knitting machine and see if I can’t finish the sock I started this morning. I’d like to have a load of socks to felt and decorate on my days off. It would also be great to get a little ride in before I need my nap.

Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

Spring fever(s)

2006-04-24T19:20:00.000-03:00

Duchess doesn't want us to knit

Diana the Dysfunktional Knitter has termed this as The Funk. It's that state of "I just can't be bothered. I'm bored and fretful and nothing's working for me on any level." It's the creative wasteland. It's more that sheer laziness and it's more than mere boredom. The Funk is a good term for it. Personally, I favour that Newfoundland gem "Dropsy Heart" as in "I've dropsed down on me arse and I haven't the heart to git up agin".

For me, it's biking fever. I'd rather be out having a ride on the bike and be more or less playing hookie from the knitting machine. The weather is warm and I was benched from Duchess most of last season due to my asthma. The old girl is getting twitchy for some further adventures. And she doesn't want to sit around this year, being a jungle gym for spiders. She too is bored and we really want to spend our time playing, not working.

Fortunately, socks don't take up a lot of room in the panniers. They're the ultimate portable summer knitting project and I see a few of these in my future. I've finished the first sock and am almost to the point of doing the heel flap of the second. I'm of mixed emotions on them. They knit up fast (that would be one of the good points) but they seem to be a bit loosey goosey for my tastes. I like a somewhat firmer sock fabric and I'm fretting that they'll wear out too quickly. Oh well, one way to find out -- finish BOTH of them and wear them. I actually love wearing hand knit socks and I need something jazzy for under the Birkenstocks... yeah, I'm one of THOSE freaks.

In any event, I'm off to figure out if the knitting machine still remembers my name. It's been a while. And it's Monday night, which means the murder and mayhem starts on BBC Canada at 10 pm. I'll bead The Shawl that Time Forgot for a while in front of the television.

Talk to you'se all laters, provided Blogger hasn't gone AWOL again; thanks for reading.

The OddBall Knittery is officially hatched

2006-04-19T12:36:00.000-03:00

The sock (blockers) that Jack built.

Yesterday was a productive day, in spite of the fact I got very little knitting done. It was, among other things, errand day so I spent a lot of time running from hither and yon, picking up the this and a half dozen of that and a side order of something or other.

Things pretty much sailed smoothly which is always a disconcerting experience for me. The Staples delivery guy showed up at 8:30 and I was free to leave the house thereafter. That put me right straight into a spin.

First order of business was off to Jack McWilliam’s carpentry shop. Jack is a bit of a character. I met him ages ago when he was an auxiliary with the police force. He’s since retired, although Jack never strays far from one’s life. I now work with his son-in-law and three-quarters of the police force has hired him in one form or the other to build furniture for them. Jack’s a master craftsman and if you can show him a picture of it, he can pretty much build it.

I’d spent ages the other day trying to block the felted Christmas stockings but by the time they’ve finished fulling up, they’re very thick. It was impossible to nail them, staple them or pin them to the blocking board. From some small, cobweb encrusted recess of my mind, I suddenly remembered that old fashioned sock blocker/stretcher device. Just the ticket, I thought, except I need it in bigger sizes. Enter Jack’s workshop.

Like I said, if you can describe it to Jack, he can build it and that made him the man for the job. By 11 am, I was standing in his workshop, ankle deep in sawdust, and we were tracing the two sizes of blockers I needed on a piece of scrap plywood. There was no gossiping during this visit. It was merely a mutual exchange of social intelligence. By 3 in the afternoon, I had a call back from Jack -- they were done and he was sending them over with his daughter, who lives right around the corner from me. You can’t beat that for service.

In the meanwhile, I managed to make it to the Canada/NB Business Service Centre on Queen St to get all the info I needed for to get my tax numbers and business name registration. I ran into Liz and we had coffee before she was off to write her American History exam.

Everyone I’ve dealt with has been so very helpful. The woman at the Business Service Centre told me to make sure I called around for the registration name searches because there’s quite a spread in what different companies charge and sure enough, there was. In any event, I didn’t bother calling everyone in the province. I just stuck with the three in Fredericton and sent them an email with the particulars.

Before the end of the day, I even managed to do some knitting. I got about 3 inches done on “the therapy sock”, did some beading on the Shawl that Time Forgot and I sewed up a machine knit sock for felting. Now, I just need to do another 11 of those puppies and I’ll have enough for a washing machine load.

The OddBall slept the sleep of the Just last night, I’ll tell you.

Today has also gone frightening well, which makes it two days in a row and now I’m starting to get edgy. I did a bit of fighting with the Revenue Canada site trying to procure my business number. (Yes, I know, it’s now the CCRA or whatever but it’ll be Revenue Canada to me until I die). I took three stabs at it and kept getting kicked off the site. Apparently, there was a coding error somewhere and it had decided I was a limousine driver who didn’t live in Canada…hell of a long cry from a good Maritime girl who knits socks.

In any event, I called them and after a modest 5 or 6 voice mail menus, I talked to Greg. Greg was brilliantly helpful and within 10 minutes, I had my business number in hand.

Before 10 am, I had the report back from the name search company, in an Adobe document format, which I could conveniently attach, along with my newly issued Revenue Canada Business Number, to my request for registration made to the Lord High Admiralty of Corporate Registrations for the Province of New Brunswick via the Service NB website. And that went just stupendously well.

So there you have it, less than 24 hours have elapsed and $158 later, and The OddBall Knittery has been born. I have not acquired any ulcers or even a hate on for humanity in the process. Corporate Services for the Province still needs to sign off but it’s highly unlikely the name will be rejected at this stage.

Of course, all this raging success and productivity can only mean one thing -- I need to do some more freaking work on the Shawl Time Forgot.

Talk to you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

Progress....

2006-04-18T00:16:00.000-03:00

Getting there...

I know the entire process has been slower than death, but I think I'm winning here. If God's willing and the wind's right, I ought to get this beading finished before I go back to work on Thursday.

Anyone taking bets?

Talk at you'se all laters; thanks for reading.

Gee, how would I guess it was a Monday??!

2006-04-17T08:15:00.000-03:00

I'm this side of madness, I tell you.

Ever had one of those projects that you just knew was going to be an eternal pain in your nether regions? I’m here to tell you that right about now, the shawl I’m doing for the Tyler Hamilton Foundation is rapidly approaching that exalted status. Where are we with the blessed thing? Well, we’re still in the beading stage. We all might be still beading when some Archangel or another sounds the trumpet to mark the onset of Armageddon for all I know.

Hmmmmmm, you know I’m stressed when I start referring to myself in the third person but I digress…

Back the truck up to the start of this ker-smozzle -- Fredericton, my hometown burg recently lost the only decent craft supply place in the region. I know Liz will cringe because the staff used to make her crazy and the owner was a bit of a doofus and and and and there was a million reasons NOT to shop there, all of which were true, but in spite of Liz’s misgivings, at the end of the day, you could be pretty much guaranteed you’d be able to find the basics.

Basics like beading needles.

Now a week ago, I noticed I was on my last package of beading needles. I don’t buy these things in single packages. I buy beading needles by the fistful and with this shawl, I was breaking the eyes on the needles at a rapid pace. Not surprising, really, pearls are notorious for being drilled with very small holes. Usually about every third or forth dangly bit I do on the shawl edge requires a brief tug on the needle with a set of needle-nosed pliers. It’s a testament to the strength of beading thread that it’s the metal needle that gives before the thread.

In any event, I was clever enough to recognize that I was going to need replacements in short order. So the last time I was up at the last surviving craft supply place in Fredericton, Wal-Mart I bought beading needles.

Yes, Wal-Mart. You all know where this story is going -- right down the drain. I bought beading needles at Wally-World. That’s what the package says. It’s very clearly marked “Beading needles” and “Aiguilles Pour Perles” for those of you who missed it in the English format. I had every reason to believe they were needles. For beading.

Did I ask about sizes? Of course, I asked about sizes. And of course, the clerk looked at me like I was from outer space and told me with a perfectly straight face that they only had the 6 packs available. They didn’t have any other sizes. I quit while I was ahead on that matter.

So last night, I took on the task which has no end -- beading the edge of the Tyler Hamilton Foundation shawl. Actually, I’m about 75% done but it’s feeling much, much less. I was motoring along at a reasonably productive clip when, wouldn’t you know it, I broke the eye on the last of the beading needles. Have no fear, I have replacements on hand because I’m smarter than letting myself run out of a crucial supply like that, aren’t I?

I have no idea what ‘beads’ they had in mind when they manufactured these puppies. They’re long enough for beading needles but they’re shaped like a spike. They won’t go through regular glass beads, let alone a pearl, so the beading project has ground to a temporary halt.

I’m off to check Fabricville as soon as they open this morning. Failing that, there’s always eBay…because Texas right now is easier to get at than Michael’s in Saint John which is an hour drive from here.

Speaking of eBay, I spent the better part of the weekend trying to write the eBay thing, both for products and just the OddBall bit in general. Apparently, much to my disgust, being the Boss Babe around this joint means I’m the PR flack and advertising rep as well.

If you all don’t mind, and you’re more or less bored, would you check this “About Me” section and let me know which obviously glaring error I’ve overlooked and/or which incredibly important piece of information I’ve forgotten. Random bits of advice can be hurled in my direction as well.

On the bright note, the sock is coming on well and it’s doing its bit to calm this savage beast.

Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

OddBall therapy

2006-04-14T12:35:00.000-03:00

Tell me socks aren't the perfect summer knitting project. This is the time of year when I travel by bike and they're small enough to fit in the panniers.

They also double as therapy. I've spent the past couple of days trying to dot the i's and cross the t's and sort out bloody shipping requirements to start selling stuff on eBay. Confusion reigns supreme at the OddBall Crib.

I'll get this all sorted out in short order, I'm sure. Right now, it's a case of trying to figure out shipping costs. It will come together. Of this, I am supremely confident.

In any event, I now have a new hand knitting project to drag to work. Oh, and much to Liz's surprise, they're actually for me just because I knit for myself so often.

The shawl? Still beading it. I'm looking forward to finishing it (how many times have you all heard THAT) on my days off.

Happy Easter for those of you so inclined to that religious persuasion.

Talk at you'se all laters; thanks for reading.

No real knitting content here.

2006-04-10T11:45:00.000-03:00

Tippa-tappa slide

Tap dance: an art form involving the rhythmic tapping of the feet in time with music, or alternatively, me trying to write a knitting column with no knitting content. Either way, there’s a lot of shuffling, twisting and turning going on.

Okay, where are we at in the Never Ending Silk Shawl dept? Still beading. I’m got a little over 70 of the 175 beading points done. Okay, when I look at it like that, it’s just depressing. It felt much more productive when I said to myself that I was on the third of five rounds of beading.

I’m fantasizing in the ‘What’s Next?” dept. Most Maritimers will be familiar with the ubiquitous “Honeycomb Mitt” also known as the Newfie mitt. They’re very warm and they can be found at every locale in the region that sells hand knit mitts. Sadly, they’re usually executed in the worst, God-awful acrylic horror show going, which is a shame because it’s not a bad pattern, all in all. It’s just usually really poorly executed.

Now, really, I’m not a fibre snob. Uummmmmmmmmmm, all right, I AM a fibre snob but some acrylics make the grade with me. I’m an equal opportunity, all embracing kind of fibre snot. I think the petro-yarns, even Fun Furs, have their place but is it necessary to use the lowest grade, most pilling variety in the exact shade of “if repulsive had a colour, this would be it”? I think not. It takes as long to knit something out of quality yarn as it does to knit it out of schlock. Go for the quality.

In any event, time for me to get down off the soap box and back to the mittens. I’m thinking about taking the Newfie mitt for a walk, like make a hat out of it. Or an purse. Or the cuff for a pair of socks. I’m thinking a plain solid background, like black, with a multicoloured “honeycomb”. Wonder what if it would felt worth a damn?

There has to be something cool that can be done with this otherwise pretty decent stitch pattern than make it go around and around and around in circles in the same tired mitten pattern.

And to the three people I just offended with my “I’m tired of the tried and the true” rant, I’m sure your mitts are very lovely. It’s the other ones I hate. Honest. Would I lie to you? Of course, not.

But that’s my mood today. I’m am sick to the gills of this damn shawl. It’s dragged on about a month longer than my patience. It’s beautiful but I’m so not there, mentally or emotionally, right now. I think I’m starting to resent it; however, I don’t dare put it away or give it a rest or you all know what will happen. It will get sucked into the land of undone projects and there’s too much in it now to abandon ship now.

I want a new project. Jackie’s doing new things. Liz is doing new things. Every one at work is doing new things. And I’m getting all pouty because I wasn’t invited to the party.

Okay, it’s time to suck up the ‘woe is me’ tale and shake a leg. I’ve got that annual fun-fest at my physician’s office where he tells me, once again, that I’m fat and on the wrong side of 40. Speaking of which, ladies, when’s the last time you all had your feet up in the stirrups, trying vainly to pretend you don’t have half of bloody Home Hardware shoved inside you? More than a year? Get off your duff and make the call for your annual Pap. General rule of thumb: if you can't remember when your last Pap test was, you're overdue. No bloody excuses.

Yes, I’m talking to YOU. Nobody likes it -- get over it. It might save your life.

Talk to you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

Where we to?

2006-04-07T09:54:00.000-03:00

Now the really freaking tedious bit, beading 175 beading points. I divided it into 35 sections of 5 points. This picture shows two of them, the long dangly ones and the lilac/silver cathedral beads, paired up with fresh water pearls.

Okay, 'nuff of this for a while. I'm going for a bike ride. I need to work tomorrow so I'm taking clothes to work now so that's done for the morning. And maybe I'll drag the Liz off for a coffee, if I can get her nose out of the history books.

I just realized how strange that sounded...NO, I don't bike to work nekkid. With my 43 year old, done gived birth body, that would be the ultimate moving violation. I store my work clothes in my locker and then the commute in is just the coffee mug and my lunch.

Talk to you'se all laters, the bike is calling; thanks for reading.

PS to the OddBall IT and Technical Support Division and Willie's Momma: the purloined Christmas prezzie fits into the water bottle cage PERFECTLY. It's so not being returned.

PPS: to any readers in the Halifax Metro region: if you see a gold/bronze coloured Yukon Giant , 13.5" frame, red bars at the end of the handlebars and black saddlebags, Steph "lost" hers from her shed.

Where's the beading fairy when you need her?

2006-04-06T00:28:00.000-03:00

Shiny shiny, pretty things

Liz is waiting for the kitchen demolition fairies to arrive at her place. I sit in hope of the beading fairy’s imminent arrival. I’ve been waiting a week now and still, alas, I think she has me on ignore. That or the kitch on the front door has scared hell out of her and she’s not stepping foot in this joint for fear it will completely trash her reputation as having any taste whatsoever.

So, if the silk shawl for the Tyler Hamilton Foundation is ever going to get beaded, I’d best be picking up the needle and thread and having at it. I’ve been collecting the beads, mostly freshwater pearls, for a year now and I have loads of them. Of course, there had to be a snafu in it somewhere. I bought a whack of lilac and silver cathedral beads -- whack being defined as 150 -- and when they arrived, I knew they were perfect for this project. Unfortunately, I have 175 beading points around the circumference and my bead dealer has no more of them in stock. In retrospect, just as well as they are pretty heavy.

I started a bit tonight and my intention is to work most of tomorrow on it. I’m not working as I switched shifts with a co-worker. Besides, it’s going to bloody snow and I’m not biking in that crap voluntarily. It’s bad enough doing it because I have to get to work.

Only thing on the agenda is Ditto’s orthodontic appointment in the afternoon. There’s some possibility I might actually accomplish something over the next couple of days. Everyone, cross your fingers but please, don’t hold your breath. I’d hate to have the guilt of THAT on my conscience.

Talk to you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

Just in time for Hallowe'en

2006-04-02T21:04:00.000-03:00

Imagine that...me finishing a project while it's still topical. Voila, the Easter/spring wreath. It's kitch. And it was mostly brainless. Perfect for me this week.

Well, I'm beat and heading to bed early tonight. It's been an emotional week.

Just to keep thing interesting, I think Ditto is down with the flu.

I'll talk to you'se all laters; thanks for reading.

An OddBall Easter Egg Hunt

2006-03-30T16:48:00.000-04:00

Some Odd little Easter Eggs

The front door at the OddBall crib is looking distinctly...well, Valentine'ish and it is, by my reckoning, well past Valentine's Day. I've got the Tyler Hamilton Foundation shawl under semi-control, at least until my days off and well, things just need a little sprucing up.

All signs that spring has sprung are here. The days are getting longer. I'm not going to work and from work in the dark. The OddBall IT and Technical Support Division is commuting to work on his bike. And there's barely a blade of grass left unburnt on the northside of Fredericton.

Needing something to keep me occupied and awake on these long night shifts, in between dispatching crews to YET ANOTHER BLOODY grass fire, I took up crocheting Easter eggs and/or cat toys.

Supposed to look like this when done

Not rocket science. Not design genius but fits in my purse and is not a lifetime commitment. Unlike some shawls I could mention.

Well, it's time to get ready for worky-worky again. Last night shift...oh yes! Talk at you'se laters; thanks for reading.

Done Knitting

2006-03-27T07:33:00.000-04:00

Not done to the DoneButs but off the needles. Still needs a few ends wove in, blocked, beaded and blocked.

But I'm done with the damn knitting.

Yeeeeeee- haw.

Talk at you'se all laters because it's bed time; thanks for reading.

Off the needles...

2006-03-26T23:50:00.000-04:00

The silk shawl is off the needles before the OddBall is off her rocker! And the peasants rejoiced.

I'm only one month behind schedule which is some sort of land-speed record for me. Pictures tomorrow when I get home from work.

Talk at you all laters; thanks for reading.

Something's being accomplished here

2006-03-25T11:55:00.000-04:00

Lots of colours

In a frenzy of semi-productivity, Ditto and I tackled some fluff dying yesterday and it turned out well. She’s pretty good at coming up with colour ideas and we had fun. And for the record, she’s not the one who ended up with the red-violet streak up her left arm to near the elbow. Sheeeesh.

Don’t ask me about the pink. It’s Serendipink. When I emptied all the steamed packages of fluff, there was so leftover dye that I dumped into the dye kettle. When I was cleaning up, I looked and thought “Oh, what the hell?” and chucked in a skein of B&L and some fluff. It’s the prettiest shade of pink ever and I have absolutely no idea of how to recreate it.

Like you were expecting this to be some kind of professional outfit or what?

Ditto learns the dyer's trade

I had to laugh at Oneida. The other day when I was packaging fluff to take to Singer’s, it was the huge whine fest when I asked her to help me out. So I did the packaging that night and in the morning before I delivered it to Trish. Then I dropped the bomb shell on her -- I got paid for my work and had she contributed some of the labour, I would have paid her some of the money as well. She was totally put out that she missed the chance for some moolah. Ha-ha-ha. Momma gets the last laugh. Again.

Today she’s off the NB Scots Dance Elite Dance camp and when I dropped her off, she was too grown up and cool to kiss me goodbye. Sigh…where did the time go?

Talk to you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

This month's utterly shameless plug

2006-03-23T14:34:00.000-04:00

Come have fun on Tartan Day

The world's most successful quasi-professional ethic group, namely the Scots, are at it again. Tartan Day it is, on April 8. Celebrations in Fredericton will be held (for those of you without the visual acuity to read the itty bitty print are as follows:

2nd Annual Celtic Gala: A Tartan Day Celebration

Saturday, April 8

reception and dinner at the Fredericton Inn, 1315 Regent St - reception at 6 pm; dinner at 7.

Featuring: Celtic entertainment, Live & Silent Auction and the launch of the 25th Annual New Brunswick Highland Games and Scottish festival.

To reserve your tickets call 457-0148. Tickets are $60/person with $30 tax receipt available upon request.

Success is spelled with a capital $

2006-03-23T14:04:00.000-04:00

All the pretty colours

So, you might ask, what’s been new on the OddBall front? It turns out, a fair bit. I’ve made my leap to the big leagues. First, my concert photo from the Great Big Sea concert made it to the Great Big Website. Oneida is pretty thrilled by it. Actually, it’s the second time I’ve had a photo published. Last year, the posters for the Fredericton Craft Festival had one of my pics as a centre shot.

Second point of yahooed-ness is that Trish at the Singer Store on York St, Fredericton is now carrying my hand dyed needle felting fluff for the Fredericton area. Nothing like the cha-chinga-ching of cold hard cash hitting the arse pocket of the jeans to validate one’s sense of being an artist.

Now at Singer Fredericton

I’m reminded of Stephen King’s wise words about professional art and artisans. He was being interviewed about what makes a person a “real writer” and he said, in effect, that if someone wrote you a cheque for the words you wrote and you cashed that cheque and paid the light bill with the proceeds, you were a professional writer.

I paid Oneida’s dental bill.

In any event, I have a couple of hours left before Oneida gets home from school and with any luck at all, I will manage to finish the knitting on that shawl for the Tyler Hamilton Foundation.

Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

The Great Big Really Good Time

2006-03-22T00:10:00.000-04:00

Bob Hallett, Great Big Sea

It was Christmas time revisited at the OddBall Crib. Tonight was the date for the Great Big Sea concert that the OddBall IT and Technical Support Division had bought tickets for my Christmas present. It was worth the wait, worth the money, worth it all.

If you've never seen GBS live, do so. Here's the link to their webpage so you've got NO excuses for not cluing into their concert schedule.

If you've never heard their music, you ought correct that shortcoming on your part.

I don't know if they 'translate' as well in other locales, but here in their back yard of the Maritimes, they had the place a-rocking. The entire audience from 8 to 80 years old were singing, clapping and more or less having a grand time. The first set was their traditional Newfoundland folk music (with the usual GBS twist) taken largely from their new album The Hard & the Easy. At the risk of being repetitious, it's well worth the money to buy the album. Don't let the 'folk', 'traditional', 'Newfoundland' labels put you off. If you like music, you will like this band.

The second set was just Great Big Sea at maximum energy.

Honest. I wouldn't lie to you.

Hey, would you look at that??!!

2006-03-21T01:47:00.000-04:00

The home stretch

Do you see that? Eh? Eh? You know what that is? Huh?

I’ll tell you what that is…that’s me within 15 inches, 38 cms of the finish line on the shawl border. That’s getting to the ‘doable stage’. I’m almost there but too tired to continue tonight.
But yahoo, it can be measured!

Talk at you’se all later when I regain consciousness. It's nappy-jammy time. Thanks for reading.

An OddBall Blogiversary

2006-03-18T10:36:00.000-04:00

A Year in the Life of an OddBall

I don’t rightly recall what possessed me to start this Blog. Perhaps it was the success of my online bike journal at CrazyGuysonABike.com which turned out to be a hit in my life. There's been over 43 000 hits on that journal and I still get email about it. I started this blog mostly as a place to organize my thoughts and a year later, I’m still surprised to find I’ve got regular readers in Australia, Europe and all over the United States and Canada. I know I was immensely surprised to find out that someone other than family members read it. Not bad for a hick from the sticks in Maritime Canada.

It’s been an eventful year all in all. I’m still 40 something, another year older but none the wiser. I’m still lard-arsed and bucket-mouthed. Some things in the universe are a consistency -- me being overweight and mouthy are two things you can count on.

But a lot has changed in 12 short months as well. The biggest was the death of my mother, Eileen MacKay, in April. After a decade of suffering with the effects of Parkinson’s, her death was a relief at the time. A year later, I think as a family, we’re just starting to mourn. I miss her a lot.

Liz is still the Bestest Friend Ever but a lot has changed in her life as well. She’s left her job as the curator at the York Sunbury Museum, resigned as President of the New Brunswick Craft Council and gone back to university full time. We still hang out a lot but our respective schedules sometimes work against us.

Jackie's joined the Blogging ranks with her One Thread, Two Thread. It's lead to some moments of confusion. One day, I walked into Liz's kitchen and met a friend of her whom I'd heard a lot about over the past year but had never actually met in person. Liz made the introductions and Amy said "So are you One Thread Two Thread? "

"No, I'm Oddball". And the wierd part is that it seemed so utterly normal that I didn't even stutter at it until I got back in the car. The blogs have taken on a life of their own out there in the wild world of cyberspace.

The Blog forced me into going hi-tech here at the OddBall crib. A digital camera, new computer, new computer desk and scanner were all purchased to support this 'free' Blog. Why I hadn't bought them before, I have no idea. The camera? I use it all the time. I can't believe I resisted that one for so long. The OddBall IT and Technical Support Division believes he has survived the year relatively unscathed. His sweater that I started two years ago still isn't finished. If I actually finished it, he'd have no fodder for his complaints, now would he? I'm only looking out for his mental health.

What else has this year brought? I bought not one but two knitting machines, neither one of which I can use properly. I’m eventually going to get there although I still find the process very daunting and I find much of what is designed for machine knitting to be very poorly designed. I’ve got a magazine subscription (why I signed up is beyond me) that just showcases really bad designs that are ill fitted. Why is there this misconception that machine knitting HAS TO BE crappy knitting? There’s absolutely no need for it. Although, I find a lot of the British patterns are nicely executed. Maybe it's just my prejudices but just because you can do it quickly on a machine doesn't mean you have to do it poorly. If nothing else, the machine is an opportunity to do it better because you're not stuck with those hours and hours and hours of just making endless yardage.

Of late, my entire knitting universe has been about hand knitting. Let’s face it, machines are none too portable and I'm always going to need at least one handknitting project on the needles to preserve my sanity. Currently, I’m in the middle (but nearing the end) of my most ambitious design project yet, a silk shawl for the Tyler Hamilton Foundation. Part of what’s kept me going on that never ending project is the fact I’ve publicly given notice that I’m doing it and somehow, that means I need to finish it or ‘fess up to failure.

What else has this year brought? I made my debut as a fibre artist at the Gagetown Village Fibre Festival where I demonstrated needle felting. I did the same at the New Brunswick Highland Games and the Rothesay Craft Festival. Somewhere along the line, I started taking myself seriously as an artist -- that’s a huge leap forward for me.

I beat my head around the concept of crochet, although I suspect I’ll never ‘like’ it. I’ve tackled felting/fulling with mixed results. I designed, although it needs some tweaking, a pig cloak and a couple of very snazzy pig scarves. I’ve taken up dying and think I’ll be getting into that a lot more intensely in the future.

This year has been about transforming myself from an avid hobbyist to something a little more commercially oriented. I’m still exploring but I have a few years to tweak the business plan. I retire from the City’s employ in about a dozen years at the ripe old age of 55 -- way, way too young to “retire” but with a 30 year pension to keep the wolf from the door. This blog has done a lot to keep me on track in that department. Needing to post on a regular basis to keep the Blog current has kept my nose to the proverbial grindstone for the past year. Some days, I knit so I have something to Blog. It keeps me honest and focussed.

There’s been some unforeseen benefits to this process. I’ve ‘met’ some incredibly cool women through the internet this year. I really hope someday we can find a place to gather for a drink or six.

In any event, from the bottom of my little OddBall heart, thanks for being here this past year. It’s been a lot of fun and here’s to Year 2 in the OddBall Universe.

Thanks for reading. No, really...THANKS for reading. You've all made it worthwhile and an awful lot of fun.

Had it...totally and completely HAD IT

2006-03-16T22:07:00.000-04:00

You think taxes are tough? Try knitting, buddy.

Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here.

Well, OddBall, where are you with the progress on this shawl, conceived and executed in the Firth Circle of Hell, the place where sinners are doomed to an eternity of useless labour to atone for their slothfulness of life? Hmmmm… how else would one describe this ever blessed shawl than a "useless labour".

I‘m not done. I‘m not ever going to finish this ever-loving thing. I’m at that horrid stage. About six stages past the “I want to strangle myself with the yarn" stage and two stops to the left of the “I’m considering gouging out my liver with these needles” stage. If you’ve ever knit a big, incredibly tedious and unspeakably repetitive piece of knitting, you know what I mean.

Let me put it this way, this afternoon I had to make the choice between scrubbing the kitchen floor and sitting with a nice cup of tea and knitting for a couple of hours. The scrub bucket won out. Now that’s desperation.

Okay, enough with the lollygagging with the computer. It’s back to the needles for this OddBall. Talk at you'se all laters (provided Blogger isn't on strike) and thanks for reading.

The end is in sight

2006-03-12T22:05:00.000-04:00

Another milestone reached.

Well, I've made it past the 3/4s mark for the border. I may actually finish knitting this shawl in this lifetime.

It's been a long haul but at the risk of tossing all sense of modesty to the wind, it is a beautiful piece. It's going to be hard to send it away.

In any event, I'm tired. It's been a long day. Talk at you's all laters; thanks for reading.

Who is that Cloaked Pig??

2006-03-10T04:45:00.000-04:00

Pig in Sheep's clothing

I realize that this will come as a surprise to some readers, but there aren’t a lot of knitting patterns for pigs out there in the market. You can find patterns for dog jackets and cat thingies but I’m here to attest to the fact that pigs are more or less ignored in the couture clothing department. When Willie was a much smaller pig, my sister tried to made do with a large dog’s jacket. It didn’t fit and he quickly outgrew it. Pigs, it turns out, are NOT dog shaped.

Enter the OddBall and her knitting machine. My life doesn’t have enough wonky in it so I had to import some from my sister’s life. Armed with little more than a tape measure and a rough mental picture of what a pig looks like, and the trademark battle cry of Oh, what the Hell?, the OddBall flung herself into the project.

Well, for starters, let’s just say pigs aren’t the most patient creatures to grace the planet. The project started off on a slightly offbeat note at Christmas time when Kelly and I decided to take the pig’s measurements without the use of a measuring tape. I’d forgotten to bring my quilter’s tape and we were reduced to using hanks of string. Nevertheless, we were in the ballpark. Or something like that because I’m here to tell you, pigs do not like being measured.

It didn’t take to long to knit it up on the knitting machine because pretty much, it was 4 rectangles, sewn together along the long sides. I did do a bit of shaping at the bottom, back end, so that in the end we had a large, almost square with a rounded bottom section. The collar section was knit on to the piece after I had joined all the rectangles and I curved both collar pieces in towards the middle. As it turns out, I didn’t curve them enough -- something to fix in Version II.

Just for the record, I might add that it is somewhat easier to fit something when the model lives a bit closer than 440 kms to the south east. And I’ll confess, I’ve never really examined a pig closely for anatomical details. For example, I didn’t realize until now that the hind end of a pig is considerable higher than the front end. Instead of a straight sided rectangle, I’m going to have to taper those sides in a bit.

And the neck!!! Willie isn’t fully grown -- he has about another year of growth, making him the porcine version of a teenager -- with all the blessings associated thereof. As it stands, his neck/collar size is 36”.

I was all for taking at this with a pair of scissors and cutting down the front portions but my sister wanted to leave some growing room in it. He’s bound to get a couple of inches wider across the back which will naturally lift the front portion off the ground a little more. I guess we'll just leave this as being the full length, formal, pig cloak.

Happening Pig

I had knit a belly strap for the jacket, thinking we needed some means of closing it other than at the neck but I wasn’t sure of where to place it, so I just felted it separately and took it with me. As it turns out, it wasn’t needed. This is more pig cloak than pig jacket. It fastens only at the neck. Not wanting to waste the belly strap, we turned it into a snazzy scarf, complete with bow.

Does Willie like his new duds? According to my sister, he does. What he really doesn’t like this week is ME. At Christmas time, Willie had an unfortunate encounter with a flannel pyjama wearing, slipper swinging monster (not me for the record) but I got blamed for it anyway. And he still has a pout on for it. He’ll chill out. He just hasn’t figured out his OddBall Auntie yet.

Oh yes, and about the fitting tips for cranky little pigs that I promised in yesterday’s column…here’s the secret. You don’t. Pigs don’t do anything they don’t want to do. Learn to deal with it.

In the meanwhile, it was great to get down to see my sister again. The two days were a welcome break from knitting the Shawl from Hell border. I’ll be back at that little project today.

Talk to you’se all laters; thanks for reading. Oh yes, and before I forget, wishes for a very, very happy sixth birthday go out to my favourite little pirate in Halifax. Happy Birthday, Noah. Aunt Kate loves you lots.

Ain't this the living end?

2006-03-09T17:21:00.000-04:00

What all stylish swine are wearing.

The trip back from Halifax was made in record time. Apparently, I'd filled up the OddBall-Mobile with aviation fuel and we were doorstep to doorstep in 4 hours, 7 minutes. Mostly this has to do with my bladder capacity than anything else...we only required one pit stop.

I waved in the general direction of the London Wul-Farm as we blew past the Dieppe turnoff but I wasn't in the mood to stop today. It was all 'pitter-patter, let's get at her". In case you all didn't know already, Heidi has her own blog now and here's the link.

Okay, it's time to unpack and/or contemplate what we're having for supper. I'll write more tomorrow, complete with tips on how to fit a finicky and exceedingly cranky pig.

Talk to you'se all laters; thanks for reading.

Live from Halifax!!!

2006-03-09T06:31:00.000-04:00

Well, the neph-pig is having an anxiety attack over his new duds. Actually, he likes them a lot, according to the pig expert in residence, namely my sister but being a pig, he has to make a huge fuss over them. I'd make some corny joke about him being a ham but that's just too easy.

He's spent some time rolling around on the floor with them; however, the neph-pig thinks Auntie OddBall is going to do rude and nasty things to him and he spends a lot of time running away and squealing like ...uhhh, well, like a pig. There will be pictures eventually but right now, as of 0630h, we have yet to achieve pig modelling new jacket. It's in the works. We haven't tossed in the towel, or the jacket, yet.

Drama Queen?? Drama Queen... you have no idea. This pig is overdue several major Hollywood acting awards for the theatrics.

The things we endure to help keep a Willie warm.

Heading home later today so talk at you'se all laters;thanks for reading.

Too much nakedness...

2006-03-08T06:17:00.000-04:00

Naked Pig!

It’s been brought to my attention that in the fair city of Halifax, Nova Scotia, there lives a naked pig. Actually, he’s only semi-nude because he has a little coat but that’s the issue. The coat is too little and the pig has become a big, strong, incredibly handsome pig.

Auntie OddBall to the rescue. This has been in the works for some time and you’d have thought I’d have taken it down to the poor little freezing porker by now. I’m sure he’s all excited about having a new felted wool coat 2 weeks before spring. But between my schedule and my sister’s, actually meeting up has been problematic. There’s been a whole lot of phone calls that start with…”thought I’d come down this weekend…..Sure but I’m off to Toronto.” or “are you free to come down this weekend because I’m actually off…Sorry, I’m working. Again.”

In the meanwhile, the pig has froze his parts off while his people try to get their act together. Fortunately for the long suffering Willie, there’s been a scheduling break through. In about an hour, Ditto and I are off to visit Willie and fit his new coat. Pictures will ensue. Yeah, yeah, I’m going to drink my sister’s booze supply when I’m there. She’s not getting off scot free on this one.

In any event, I still have to finish packing and round up the clan. It’s road trip time.

Talk to you’se all laters, like Friday, I’m thinking; thanks for reading.

More of the same

2006-03-06T12:04:00.000-04:00

This is working for me

There's not much to report other than I'm further along than I was yesterday. It's the same old same old, just farther down the road. I'm officially past the half way marker of the filet crochet border.

Where we stand now

When the lower part of the filet crochet border is finished, I'll be 3/4s of the way done. That still sounds like an awful lot of knitting to me.

In any event, it's onward bound. I think I'm actually going to survive this project but it's between my two night shifts, so this OddBall is back to bed. Talk to you'se all laters; thanks for reading.

Progress and Hope Intertwined.

2006-03-04T23:19:00.000-04:00

Getting there

Today, I hit two major milestones in the never-ending quest to finish the border for the shawl I promised to the Tyler Hamilton Foundation. I’m really glad I didn’t promise them an end-date because I’d be royally embarrassed by now.

Milestone # 1 was finishing one of the 100 g balls of silk. Starting into the second ball gave me a sense that I’m getting somewhere.

Major Milestone Right Here

The second milestone was joining the knit border to the filet crochet portion and knitting the lower border piece. That, I might add, is going along at a much better pace, no surprise considering that it’s 8-14 stitches wide versus 38-46 stitch width of the main border.

Am I ever going to see the end of this project? Please, I hope so. I’m getting really tired of it.
In any event, I’m off to bed. It’s nappy-jammy time for this OddBall. Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

Now that hurts.

2006-03-02T00:14:00.000-04:00

It's getting there

Proof at last to me that I’m getting somewhere with this project. On the right is what was formerly a 100g ball of silk. On the left, for comparison, the size of the 100 g balls. We are getting somewhere, oh yes, we are.

See, the one on the right is actually smaller…that’s because it’s all knotted up in the border. I want to print this out poster size and pin it to something.

We are approaching a major milestone right now. I’m within 10 inches of marrying up to the filet crochet. Obviously, there’s going to be a bit of short row knitting to navigate the connection.

A milestone approaches

Time frame for this blessed event? I have no idea. Tonight, my hands are tingling and there’s an ache in my right elbow. I’m going to stop for today and see how I feel in the morning.

In the meanwhile, there’s beer to be drunk. I’ve decided that was the problem with the whole Olympic thing. I was way too sober. Talk to you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

Another 8 rows, another 8 rows, another 8...

2006-02-28T23:57:00.000-04:00

I'm with ya, brother

This painting by Thom Evans captures exactly how I feel right now. It's midnight. I've knit all day. I feel I'm no farther ahead than I was this morning. Realistically, I am. I'm about a foot farther than I was yesterday but we are approaching that horrid stage of OH MY GOD THIS IS NEVER GOING TO END. EVER.

There's not even any sense in posting a current picture of the shawl because it looks exactly like it did yesterday. Well, you'd literally need a landmark to figure out the difference.

Why? Why? Why do I do this to myself...apparently, I have a masochist streak that had been hereto unknown to me. Someone, quick, tell me it's for charity. It's for a good cause. I am so freaking sick and tired of this border, I can't even start to describe how much I'm done with it. I really need to finish this before the end of the next century.

Oh well, I'm just going to keep at it. I've done this enough to know that there's only one way out of this mess that doesn't involve a 5-litre can of gasoline and a box of safety matches.

Okay, I'm going to go knit for another hour and then lay me down to sleep. And then toss and turn worrying about this stupid ass border. Talk to you'se laters; thanks for reading.

Still at it

2006-02-27T20:56:00.000-04:00

Early in the bleary morning hours

This is what the shawl looked like at 0600h Atlantic Standard Time. I've got about 3/8s left to knit and then there's that odd bit at the bottom of the crochet filet on the left hand side.

There's murder and mayhem on BBC Canada tonight, so I'll probably have a good go at it. When I see it all laid out like this, I'm actually encouraged that I'm getting somewhere.

OHHHHHHHH Yeah... almost forgot. The on-line auction for the Tyler Hamilton Foundation ends tomorrow night. If you had your eye on the Sarah Oliver handbag, or the Sherpa Shawl Collared Jacket in teal (Gorgeous!!!), now would be the time to get cracking.

Later all. Dalziel & Pascoe beckon. Talk to you'se all laters; thanks for reading.

The End is Nigh

2006-02-26T15:24:00.000-04:00

Better than gold anyday

By general observation, I think it’s safe to say that most who signed up for the knitting Olympics didn’t make the finish line by deadline. The one exception would be CanKNITian who finished her project. Me? Not even close so I don’t qualify for a medal or a button. It’s okay, I have a basket of crocuses instead.

How much of it do I have done? Well, in the OddBall universe, these Olympics don’t end until I’m off shift tomorrow morning. Today is not finished until I go to sleep and that isn’t yet. Right now, it’s 3:28 pm and I’m almost ready to tackle breakfast.

Right now, I’ve got about one third of it done. I’d have done a bit better but last night, I lost the needle and by the time I’d recovered ALL the stitches, I had lost about 10 inches of knit border.

It's pretty

I have noticed two ‘splots’ in the main body of the shawl which I have to figure out how to repair. They’re very noticeable and while they would be simple to fix if I was working with wool, I suspect this won’t be so easy on silk. Something else for me to worry about. Good because fretting about peace in the middle East was getting tedious.

Anyway, it’s a working day so I need to hit the shower and contemplate what this tribe of rabid hyenas I live with are eating for dinner. I mean other than “chicken” because that’s what’s defrosted.

Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading

Okay, whose idea was this, anyway?

2006-02-23T21:30:00.000-04:00

Yummy

For those of you who’ve had enough of Winter, Olympics and/or Winter Olympics, and just need a bit of summer sunshine in your life, be-bop over to Jackie’s blog and download, copy, chisel unto stone tablets, her recipe for vegetable soup. Oh, yes, Momma, it’s a keeper. It’s a potful as you can see. And yes, that is the spoon standing up. This is no wimpy soup. It’s a meal. Eat your heart out, Campbells.

Different kind of yummy

Well, I’ll be. Apparently, this Knitting Winter Olympic project, you know the one where you cast on at the torch lighting and cast off when they snuff the thing…there’s a hitch. And that hitch would be you’re required to cast on and cast off during the SAME Olympics. I mean, who the hell came up with that dumbassed idea.

Okay, we’ve got three days left to go in this Olympics. I’ve got a meter of border done. I have 9 million meters left to knit and about a billion DoneButs™ that aren't done. So which Olympics are we aiming for cast off? I’m thinking Vancouver 2010 is sounding good. I mean, we could get all rushy-rushy here and try to have it done by closing ceremonies of Beijing 2008 but haste makes waste, right?

I’m back to work tomorrow. Apparently, the plague that infested me has run its course and I’m back to feeling human. I’m sure that’s the problem with this deadline thing -- I was too sick to drink and it’s had a negative impact on productivity. That’s the problem with us amateurs. We have no means of dealing with these last minute adjustments.

Talk to you’se laters; thanks for reading.

OddBall Epidemic

2006-02-21T23:33:00.000-04:00

I'm with ya, brother.

How sick do you have to be to not knit? Very sick indeed. I don't think I lifted my head all day.

On the up side, I passed it on to the OddBall IT and Technical Support Division. I hate to be selfish about these things.

Happy belated anniversary to Diana, the Dysfunktional Knitter who just marked her 29th wedding anniversary to the now famous Mr. Effer.

Oh, yeah, the shawl border. Some smart arse in my house made some crack about me spending all day knitting only to have to rip it all out the next day. Thanks Mr Unmentionable. The border got about 8 inches shorter last night. Thanks babe, don't think I won't exact my revenge.

Okay, I'm back to bed. Talk to you'se all laters; thanks for reading.

Sometimes...

2006-02-20T20:27:00.000-04:00

Spring's coming, folks

Because sometimes you just have to stop and admire the crocuses. Crocusi.

Yeah, back at it... I know, I know. You lot of bloody slave drivers.

Talk to you'se laters; thanks for reading.

Day 9: Getting somewhere.

2006-02-20T14:44:00.000-04:00

Crochet filet insert

This morning's efforts have been attaching the crochet filet insert of the border on to the main body of the shawl. There was a bit of humming and hawing but I settled down with a modified mattress stitch.

Modified, you say? Yes, two threads of the main body of the shawl and one bar from the filet crochet.

On more problem to solve in that I'm going to have two little triangles at the short edge of the filet border that will need to be filled in. I'm working on it.

I'd stick around and yack but those needles have to burn this week. Talk to you'se all laters; thanks for reading.

Warning: Duller than ditchwater still ahead

2006-02-19T14:49:00.000-04:00

Day 9

Contrary to Jackie’s dire predictions of two million stitches left to go, left in the comments section of Feb 18, I think I’m actually down to under 75 000 stitches left in the shawl border. Now there’s a nice manageable number for you.

Today’s the start of days off and I’ve had a nice little sleeps, thank you. I’m predicting a rather productive set of days off, given that the only pressing demand on my time is one trip to the orthodontist to have half of Home Hardware and three-quarters of my chequing account installed in Ditto’s mouth. Ahhhh, the joys of motherhood -- I’m sure it ranks right up there with labour pains, something I had the sense to skip all together.

Blocked

I blocked the filet crochet bit, all four feet of it, and I think the installation is going to happen tomorrow. I just have to think of how I’m going to attach it. The options are knit it on, crochet it on, or sew it in. Right now, I’m leaning to the sewing option for sheer simplicity. The conundrum, however, does give me something to mull over while I’m knitting because we’re getting to the point where it’s just becoming tedious and repetitious. Never fear, mind-numbingly-bore-the-enamel-right-off-your-teeth is only about three days away. Some silly expression comes to mind about the journey being as interesting as the destination springs into mind. Obviously, a statement made by some fool who never picked up a set of knitting needles.

An ironing board full

I did have a momentary panic attack when I started mentally debating if I had enough of the purple silk to finish the boarder. I’m one of these people that if I don’t have a zillion tons of the stuff on hand, I start fretting. I was starting to work out my contingency plans of what to do if this whole thing went to hell in a hand basket and I was short enough yarn. Thankfully, I found another 100 grams or so which means I’ve officially got enough and then some.

The border is weighing in at the 17 inch mark. I’m to the point where I’ve got it memorized except there’s one section on rows 3 and 5 where I still get a bit confused. And there’s one YO that keeps wanting to commit suicide on the wrong sided rows. But other than that, there’s not much to say other than I need to get back at it.

Just a reminder: the online auction for the Tyler Hamilton Foundation is a little better than half over. Lots of cool stuff there, including a felted handbag donated by Sarah Oliver.

Talk to you all tomorrow; thanks for reading.

Knitting Olympics Update

2006-02-18T14:49:00.000-04:00

Update Day 8

Week One has come and gone without much action on the OddBall front. This is so bloody typical of me. But after several false starts, we are ....

Here

Yes, it's a shawl, off the needles with a border being knit on. More or less the plan of a week ago.

Up Close & Personal

And there you have it ... back to bed time for this OddBall. I'm working nights. Talk at you'se all laters; thanks for reading.

PS: Who the hell invited Winter back??

Getting somewhere at last

2006-02-17T03:08:00.000-04:00

Behold...

So what have I been doing the past couple of days? For the most part, I’ve been correcting errors in judgement. After having cast off about 3/8’s of the main shawl border, I decided the cast off was too tight. So I spent several hours undoing the cast off and putting it back on the needles and then recasting off with a needle two sizes larger.

It worked much better.

Now we’re getting much better. It’s almost a week late but the bloody border is cast on and you will note, it is attached to the shawl.

Yahoo!!! I’m so excited, I’m going to sleep.

Talk to you laters; thanks for reading.

No, really, we did some work

2006-02-14T08:50:00.000-04:00

More or less-ish the colour

Why I’m posting this to show you all the colour is beyond me. Every monitor shows is going to demonstrate it differently. I would describe it as more pewter than silver. Although silver was what I was originally thinking of, the pewter bit means it blends without blending into the main shawl better. Oh right, that made sense. I think my point to publishing this column is to prove to the doubters in the audience that the Liz and I did more than sit around last night, swilling beer and stuffing our faces with chocolate truffles.

Liz claims she’s drinking as much as she can to support my Knitting Olympic efforts but I think she needs to redouble or even triple her efforts. Jackie, you can put a little more effort into it as well.

I’m going to go knit now. It’ll keep me from fantasizing about completely redesigning this shawl border.

Talk to you’se laters; thanks for reading.

PS: Happy Valentine’s Day to the OddBall IT and Technical Support Division.

Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble.

2006-02-13T23:55:00.000-04:00

Stage One

Another day shot to Hell with little to show in the way of results but much accomplished in the “Don’t be doing this” department, which frequently is just as important.

On the bright side, the clock is running down to midnight with one thing accomplished. I'm pleased to announce that the filet crochet bit changed colour. It’s not exactly the colour pictured because after some grumbling, beer drinking and general arsing about, Liz hollered the OddBall Battle Cry ™ -- Oh What the Hell -- and overdyed it all with a hint o’lavender. It looks great with judgement reserved for the morn and natural light.

Now, OddBall, you ask, what all about that border we keep hearing you harp on about? Well, there’s been a minor technical glitch that had remained undetected until about an hour ago. The main body of the shawl is knit on 6 mm needles. The border is on 3.75 mm needles which is fine because the direction of knitting is in two different directions. The main body of the shawl is oriented ==== while the border is running perpendicular to that.

I always knit the border on to the main shawl body. What I all forgot is the size transition between the needles and that one half of the main body of the shawl is [yo, k2tog] which is pretty firm as lace goes but still is a bit to ‘givey’ for specifications on this one.

So, back to the drawing board but for a tweaking, not a complete design scrap and start again. I need a bit of stability here. [Editor’s note: Trust me OddBall, stability is the last thing any of your readers expect from you.] I’m going to run 2 or 3 rows of plain knitting around the outer edge of the main shawl to firm up that outside edge of the [yo, k2tog] panels and then cast off, probably on a size or 2 larger needle. I’m going to knit the border separately and then I’ll attach the two either by picking up stitches and knitting them together, or sewing, or crochet or staple gun, duct tape, Gorilla glue, something.

So the Great and Glorious Cast On is back in the scrap heap -- again. Like I said, the crochet bit is a different colour. We do have progress.

Talk at you’se all tomorrow; thanks for reading.

Because I never freaking listen...

2006-02-12T22:54:00.000-04:00

Against all sage advice

I spent much of yesterday, between Highland dance performances and art show openings trying to follow Jackie’s sage advice and just walk away…walk away..walk away. Stick with the program. Stay on message. Steady on course.

It so didn’t work. I had to try the swan in there, even knowing that I may well rip it out at the end. I might yet. I’m letting it percolate overnight and I’ll make the decision on whether it stays before it hits the dye pot tomorrow.

Liz and I are on to dye this section tomorrow afternoon. Now I’m off to cast on the rest of the border.

Talk to you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

The OddBall Blows Day 1

2006-02-11T09:06:00.000-04:00

Update

On the good news front, I managed to finish the filet crochet part of the border to the design specifications of ohhhhhhh, say a week ago. Well, that was Then and this is Now. Those most familiar with how my mind ’works’ recognize this preamble as my way of saying I’ve decided that I don’t like the ’just letters’ bit of the border. Well, it’s an overstatement to say “I Don’t Like It”. The more accurate reflection on the state of affairs is that I more or less think it needs more.

Less is more. Yeah, I’ve heard that theory. Screw that…More is more and more more is more or less better. My prominent design theory -- when you’ve got to the point where you really think it can’t take any more, add beads and one more colour. Told you my ambition was to grace the pages of You Knit What? And you thought I was kidding. Nope. Pretty much consider it a Life Time Achievement Award.

The swan chart

Enter the swan. I’ve come this far what the hell is another 50 rows, right? It’s 25 rows on either end. I just know that if I pick this particular point in time to do my best imitation of a sane person, and quit while I’m still ahead, every time I look at that shawl, I will see something missing. That’s never a good feeling.

I know the rest of the world won’t know it’s missing but right now, it’s enough that I know it’s missing. Liz, bless her heart, is used to this shite from me. She’s already talked me out of one issue of More, More, so I used my head this time and didn’t consult with her.

Have I actually cast on yet? Well, what the hell do you think? Of course NOT.

In any event, I need to shake a leg. Today is Ditto’s Highland Dance Tea and apparently there’s an urgent need for cream cheese and cherry sandwiches and those little mushroom roll up thingies. And yes, Elizabeth, I made extras for you. Just for you. I’ll deliver them tonight, in the dead of dark, so you don’t have to share with the kids. Oh yes, I’m the bestest friend ever.

Talk to you’se all tomorrow; thanks for reading.

Ladies, grab your ...ummmm.. balls.

2006-02-10T09:58:00.000-04:00

Me and another 3300 maniacs with needles

Well, it’s here…time for the start of the Great and Glorious Cast On, although not for another couple of hours. The Yarn Harlot didn’t know what she was unleashing when she threw down the bamboo 8s and dared us all to knit something challenging. Thirty-three hundred otherwise sane people signed up. The Harlot had to recruit volunteer administrative staff just to keep the list up to date.

Some of the stories behind the project have been heart-touching. One woman who is suffering from debilitating arthritis in her hands has made the pledge that she’s going to knit one STITCH a day for the next 16 days because that’s what she can handle right now.

There’s a lot of knitters tackling their first pair of socks or their first lace project. The Yarn Harlot is on for a sweater patterned on the Olympic Ski Team sweaters. Lucia the Knitting Fiend is up for a sweater. Dancing Barefoot of Team Grad Students is on for a shawl. I can't remember if Jackie is drinking or knitting lace for this one. Liz, the Bestest Friend Ever and Diana the Dysfunktional Knitter signed on for the drinking support team, although I’ll confess I was dreadfully disappointed to find out Diana is only drinking for the American team. Like in these troubled times the world needs such a petty display of parochialism. Come on, Diana, broaden your horizons and drink for international peace and co-operation or at least, for being blissfully besotted together.

Severina claims she’s knitting a 1940s short sleeved sweater but I suspect she’s probably crocheting individual Angora bunny hairs together with a size 94 hook and the use of a microscope into a bedspread or a garage door. She’s mad that one, utterly mad.

In a somewhat unfinished form

And the OddBall? Well, she’s on for what she does worst of all -- finishing projects. I started this shawl last summer for the Tyler Hamilton Foundation with full intents of having it done by Christmas. It’s February and well, you see where we’re to with the project. The shawl is knit but the border is not. It was one of those projects that I spent more time ripping than I did knitting and my sense of guilt was building. So, when the Harlot bellowed, I decided it was time to get down to business.

I’ve spent the last two weeks getting ready for the blessed event, buying supplies, doing some preliminary work, swatching and laying in essentials. In addition to the Aberlour, there’s a couple of bottles of vodka and one bottle of gin in the cupboard. Surely to Pete that will tide me over the next 16 days. Lindt, who really should be an official sponsor of any Knitting Olympics…hell, they should just be considered sponsors of that thing called Life… have been stocked in the 70%, 80% and as pictured, 85% cocoa strengths.

So where does this all stand just hours before the Great and Glorious Cast On?

1. Crochet filet portion of the border: 90% crocheted and in need of dying.

2. Dye: bought, received and a dye pot date tentatively booked with Liz for Monday.

3. Pearls: bought, received but beading pattern not determined.

4. Border pattern: designed, swatched charted, needs minor tweaking but good to go.

5. Central medallion: PMC clay in stock, design designed and approved by the Tyler Hamilton Foundation for the use of their logo.

6. Display box: started, design pretty much worked out in my head but I figure I’m going to need a break from the knitting every once in a while.

7. Artist statement: ohhhh puuuuuuuuuhleeeese, people, will you get serious? I’m with Severina on that one -- “Artist likes shiny things“.

Okay, there you have it: Sixteen days to take this pile of plunder and put it together into one cohesive project, done to the DoneButs™. The idea is to have the shipping box sealed and addressed when the Olympic Flame is extinguished. In the meanwhile, in order to keep me honest and on track, I hope to keep this blog updated on a daily basis.

Now, I’m starting to think I’m just plain nuts. Talk to you’se all tomorrow; thanks for reading.

The Week's Shameless Plug...

2006-02-08T19:33:00.000-04:00

Be There

The OddBall's favourite young artist in the entire charted universe, Silas Robinson, is showing his recent works at the Blue Door Restaurant, 100 Regent St, Fredericton, on Saturday Feb 11 between 2 and 5 pm.

This guy is great. I love Silas' work. If you live in the Fredericton area, come check it out. For further information, call 455-2583 or his agents, Art Contact at (506) 453-1856.

Just another detail

2006-02-05T22:23:00.000-04:00

Knitting Looms

Okay, so it’s time for the weekend update.

Saturday was the trip en famille to Saint John. Destination: Michael’s Craft Store. Why? Because I haven’t got near enough crap in this place all ready. That's why.

In all fairness, it was NOT my idea. For a change. It was entirely the doing of the OddBall IT and Technical Support Division in his never ending quest for terrain for his miniature soldiers. Word to the wise: do not call them cute, in spite of the fact that they’re 6 millimetres tall and painted all pretty (not the Soviets, they’re dull but the Byzantines can only be described as cute).

This is not to suggest that I didn’t do my part to support the local economy. Au contraire, I have decided to have yet another freaking dilemma with the shawl for the Tyler Hamilton Foundation. It needs a box. Well, after all that work involved in it, I can’t very well ship it off in a plastic Sobey’s bag, now can I?

Exactly my thoughts on the matter. So, what kind of box to build? What do you mean … buy a box? How ridiculous. Okay, I thought about it but the sweater sized boxes were more than I wanted to spend on a box and furthermore, and most importantly, I think they looked sucky. In several dimension of suckiness.

And I’ve got this pseudo-rustic faux package, decoupaged, stressed, antiqued thing rushing around in my head. And, on a bright note, since no one lost an eye or anything with my last papier maché project, we are off to the races. Just exactly what I needed -- another detail on this project. Oh well, it’s not like I take this a project of this magnitude on a weekly basis.

So, today was spent fiddling with papier maché and various boxes. One is a dismal failure, the other look promising. I figure by the time I’m finished, I would have been able to buy the damn box for a third of what I spend frigging around with this, but it doubles as an amusement for the cat.

And the shawl? The actual object for which we are building said box? Yeah, still at it. I took today off because yesterday my shoulder was killing me and I’ve dealt with enough repetitive strain injuries to know when it hurts, stop for 24 hours. I’m almost finished the yn erbyd bit which leaves me with one more section left to crochet. Then, it’s the dye pot and the count down for Friday’s Great and Glorious Cast On.

And what’s with the circular bibbly bobbies in the photo? Well, they were practically giving away those stupid knitting looms at Michaels and my curiosity got the better of me and I picked up a 5 pack or something. I tried one out last night. For the record, I’m not overly impressed but in fairness, I haven’t give it much of a chance.

In any event, tomorrow requires me to make more mess with paper and wall paper paste and oh yes, PMC clay. Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

Wind up...

2006-02-03T17:50:00.000-04:00

Another OddBall model strutting her stuff

Well, time again for the Oddball mid-month update -- two weeks late, as usual -- or for the more blindly optimistic members of the audience, where the OddBall makes near delusional predictions about this month’s productivity.

First, the catch up: The model is Maddy F, enjoying the sweater I made her for the accomplishment of being born. Her dad and I work together and he was good enough to send me pictures of her wearing it. Now all together now….awwwwwwwww… yes, baby fever. I think I’ll lay down with a cold compress until this minute of madness passes.

Yes, much better now, thank you. Ditto has achieved the exalted status of 10 years old and I’m not schlepping baby to car seat or doing 2 am feedings anymore. We’ve survived the colic stage although, I suspect I may get nostalgic for it when my midnight pacing of the floor is about busted curfews and the “if she isn’t dead in a ditch, I’m going to kill her moments” to come.

What else? Ah, yes. I heard from Deirdre Moynihan of the Tyler Hamilton Foundation and the Rose River Shawl has arrived safely in Colorado. Good thing because that was starting to get to freak out stage with me. I was getting ready to gear up and head down to the post office and well, go postal, on someone. Actually, as a technical aside, does one go postal at the post office or do you get medieval on them? Either way, I was torqued but the meds have kicked in and the shawl got to where it was supposed to go and all is happies now.

On a more serious note, the Foundation has kicked off their annual on line auction so why don't you stroll on over here and take a gander? They have some fabulous and very unique items there.

The OddBall Version

Back with the Tyler Hamilton Foundation and the silk shawl from 4th circle of Hell itself, I’m proud to announce that I’m almost back to the spot I was before I had to rip asunder some 10 inches of the filet crochet part of the border. In a weird kind of Twilight Zone-esque deal, the words that have been so contentious over the past couple of days have been yn erbyn, which is Welsh for against. Perhaps it is simply their nature to be contradictory and I can look forward to things settling out when I get past that little bit.

In any event, we’re a week away from the Great Cast On, and brother, have I got a whack of work to do between now and then. They might be planning on lighting a torch over there in Turino to kick off this blessed event but right now, I need a fire of some type lit under me. I need this filet bit finished so I can attach it to the shawl. Before that goes down, it needs to be dyed. The good news on that front is that the ‘colour decision’ has been made and the dye has been ordered. My job over the next seven days is to get the filet bit done so we can toss it in the pot and block the jebus out of it when it’s done. That way, I’ll know exactly how wide the knit border needs to be and tweak the pattern as needed.

Oh yeah, and there’s the little bit about the silver medallion for the centre piece. That’s at least mentally executed and all the materials and implements of destruction are in the studio. I’m thinking Monday is an auspicious day for the casting of silver.

And in my spare time, I need to start thinking about the beading pattern and oh yes, everyone favourite bit of this exercise, writing the artist statement. I wonder if I can draft Severina for that bit. She loves doing them, so I hear. Groceries? Laundry? Orthodontist appointments? I hear the OddBall IT and Technical Support Division making murmerling noises in the background. You've got to be kidding, pal. Keep dreaming.

Needless to say, I’m going to be busier than a one armed paperhanger over the next couple of weeks. Ms Anonymous Filet Crochet made a brilliant suggestion of a stitch and bitch going down in the Fredericton area. I’m keen for it but it’s going to have to wait until I clear my plate on this Olympic challenge stuff. I'm thinking March is looking good for a disorganized pub night.

There’s going to be a lot of fruitcakes in these parts over the next few weeks. Last check at the Yarn Harlot’s, twenty-five hundred…yes that’s two thousand, five hundred, mad knitters have signed on for the Knitting Olympics. It’s nice to have company at the asylum.

Okay, it’s back to the salt mines. I have four days off to do some serious work and the OddBall IT and Technical Support Division wants to go to Saint John on Saturday. Talk at you'se all laters; thanks for reading.

Crochet is for crazy people anyway

2006-02-01T11:43:00.000-04:00

I feel your pain, mate.

At 9 this morning, I had 26 inches of the filet crochet border done. By 11, I had 16 inches.
If tink is the obverse of knit, what is the equivalent for crochet? I’ve spent 2 hours tearing this thing apart because there is an irreversible, completely obvious, structure defining error in the piece. I didn’t even have to contemplate if there was a way around it. From the discovery of it, it was obvious that the only way out was to rip, rip, rip and rip. The pain in arse bit of it comes from the fact I’m working with silk so those little fibres tangle and snarl up and it’s not so easy hauling it out.

Am I pissed off? Not really. I’ve never done any crochet before so naturally, I haven’t got the ‘rules’ down yet. Here’s a rule for you: every few rows, check to make sure you haven’t dropped a square along the way. By the time I discovered the error, I’d dropped two which pulled the whole thing off the straight.

In any event, it’s nap time. I have to work tonight. Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

On and on and on and on ...

2006-01-31T09:40:00.000-04:00

More of the same

It’s more of the same on the OddBall front. I’ve got more of the filet crochet part of the border done and am now plotting doing a second bit. The other night, Liz and I went out and I think the decision on dye has been finalized. We’re going to go with silver grey for this section. It fits because silver is the second colour on this shawl. I have a silver medallion that will be placed in the centre of the vortex of the shawl.

Nothing terribly exciting other than I finished the belly band for the pig jacket. Unfortunately, Willie’s Momma is going to be away this weekend, so my plans to go to Halifax and fit the pig are on hold. Best laid plans of mice, men and apparently, swine.

Short post today because I’m a total idiot and seem to have to crochet every single row about 8 times. Why? Because I don’t have the sense to follow the pattern. I think the problem is I’m now comfortable enough doing the stitch that I just get in a trace like state and zip, zip, zip right along. Unfortunately, I zig when I should be zagging.

In any event, it’s back to the grind. Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

Shawl border breakthrough achieved!!!

2006-01-29T13:34:00.000-04:00

My weekend thus far

It was another one of those OddBall domestic moments last night . I was in the living room, sitting crosslegged on the couch, knitting needles in hand, reference books scattered to both sides, and a pencil in my mouth. The OddBall IT and Technical Support Division has his back to me while he made ‘click, click’ sounds on the computer. Background ambience was provided by the dialogue of back to back episodes of the Law & Order franchise.

I was really frustrated because between my notes, the books and the knitting, something was dreadfully wrong and I’d be dipped if I could figure it out. I had ripped and knitted and tinked and knit and ripped some more, recounted stitches and knit again. I consulted and re-consulted the books and suddenly, voila, there it was. The mistake, in all its glory.

“YO!”, I yelped.

“What?” came the mumble from the corner. Apparently, my little shriek of discovery had interrupted the Conquest of the Universe, Part 1569.

“No, not you. It’s YO.”

“Yeah, YO. What in hell is a YO”.

“Yarn Over. I dropped one.”

A moment of silence ensued. “Sounds dangerous. Try not to put your back out chasing that thing.”

For the record, I’m not the only member of the OddBall Crib who employs sarcasm with abandon. But alas, the YO was recovered and the knitting continued until I decided to temporarily kick the OddBall IT and Technical Support Division off the computer long enough to type up what I had figured out all ready. As you can see, a few adjustments have been made along the way but more or less, I’ve got this border sorted.

And it looks like this - unblocked of course

I need to do a few more repeats of it to see if it’s going to be wide enough or if I need to stick in another line of do-hickies but it puts you in the general ballpark.

Well, today we’re off for a family fun day at the Fredericton Police Force Charity Hockey game. Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

Tagged by DudleySpinner

2006-01-28T20:27:00.000-04:00

Tagged again

Dudley Spinner got me on this one. I love these tagging things. It saves actually having to come up with a column by my little old lonesome.

It’s the Tag of Fours.

Four jobs You’ve Had in Your Life:

1. Police dispatcher / 911 Operator -- for the City of Fredericton, handling police, fire and dogcatcher calls for Fredericton, Oromocto, New Maryland, Nashwaak Valley, Woodstock and points farther afield.

2. Front Desk Manager at a hotel.

3. Soldier

4. Farmer -- I had my own strawberry farm and bee hives when I was a kid.

Four Movies You could Watch over and over again.

Uhhhhhhhhh, I’m not a movie person. Lion in Winter. Maybe. Books on the other hand…those I can read and re-read. Perennial favourites:

1. Saint Maybe: Ann Tyler

2. Stranger in a Strange Land: Robert Heinlein

3. My Name is Asher Lev: Chiam Potok

4. The Tragedy of Richard III: William Shakespeare.

Four Places You have Lived

1. Fredericton, NB, Canada

2. Burton, NB, Canada

3. Angus, Ontario, Canada

4. Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, Canada.

Four TV Shows you love(d) to Watch

1. Law & Order (original version)

2. Daziel and Pascoe

3. CSI (Vegas)

4. Any of those completely bogus British mysteries that are neatly wrapped up at the end by the death of everyone including all the suspects.

Four Places You’ve Been on Vacation

1. Kouchibouquac National Park, NB, Canada

2. Prince Edward Island.

3. Los Angeles, CA -- yeah, did the Disney thing too.

4. Calgary and Edmondton, Alberta

Four Places You Want to Visit

1. Boston - all good Maritime girls need to go to Boston before death or they won’t let us into Heaven. Fact.

2. Scotland

3. Newfoundland

4. The Yukon territories.

Four Websites You Visit Daily.
1. Arseblog

2. The Guardian on line

3. Cycling news

4. You Knit What??

Four Things on the Floor or in the Trunk of Your Car/Truck
1. Ice scraper.

2. Snow brush

Hmmmmm, I’m actually pretty anal about stuff being left loose in the passenger compartment of a vehicle. Anything that can become a missile upon impact is not cool in my books. That’s what you get for hanging around accident reconstructionists all day

Four People I’m Tagging:

1. Diana, the Dysfunktional Knitter
2. Jackie, One Thread, Two Thread
3. Dancing Barefoot
4. Liz, who probably won’t have a chance to ‘blog because her head is stuck in the Peloponnesian War.

That's my lazy arse post for the day. Back to sticks. I suspect we have achieved -- drum roll please -- Silk Shawl Border Breakthrough -- tune in tomorrow for details and/or disappointment. Talk at you'se all laters; thanks for reading.

The Truth of the matter

2006-01-26T06:18:00.000-04:00

It's a-coming...

Two night shifts later and I'm 1/3 the way through this section of the border for the shawl. Trivia moment: the words thus far executed are Y gwir, Welsh for the truth.

And yes, it's going to be dyed...up against the main body of the shawl, which I have work so hard to make a play between subtle tones, this section is about as subtle as an elephant track through a lemon merigue pie.

Dye pot party coming later. Hold onto your pots, girls!

Okay, 2 more nights to go. It's bedtime. Talk at you'se all laters; thanks for reading.

Y me, Lord??

2006-01-24T08:49:00.000-04:00

Where's the Y?

Well, in the What in the Name of the Great Spaghetti Monster Possessed You to Take This Bastard Job On? Department, we have the continuing saga of the border for the silk shawl. And the photo above demonstrates the last two day’s worth of effort and/or cursing.

After having taught myself (again) to crochet and figuring out where I’m supposed to put my tongue, I swatched. And I swatched some more on progressively smaller hooks. And when I thought I had it just about right, I had it with the shawl yarn and the dreaded 2 mm hook. You see the results. Honest, there’s a letter Y in there somewhere. Hint, it’s at the bottom. Not exactly the portrait of readability, now is it? Even counting for my weak eyes and overactive imagination, I can see this here plan of attack is not working in any dimension. No amount of wishful thinking and/or blocking is going to make this sit up and bark.

Two issues are coming to the forefront rather pointedly. One, crochet is a total yarn pig and while I have nearly 400g of the purple silk left, it was going at a ridiculous pace. Secondly, this was going to commit me to a border of 11 inches, when I’m aiming for 8. As it is, this shawl will exceed 6’ in diameter -- unblocked!!! Do we really need to stick another 6 inches plus onto it? No, didn’t think so.

Second, it is the yarn colour variegation. When I dyed this silk, it was a very careful purposefully tone-on-tone amethyst to purple deal. The yarn is not evenly dyed in the least bit which is exactly what I wanted. It gives a sense of texture to the lace and a subtlety of shading. However, for this filet crochet, it’s working against me in that the variegation is a distraction from the form.

Final analysis -- wrong size. Wrong colour. At which point, even this OddBall could recognize the mission needed to be scrubbed.

Which brings us nicely to The Silk Shawl Border -- Chapter 287. You know that at some point, the novelty of all this is going to start to wear thin.

Why, there it is.

Back to the drawing board -- again. Mother of Pearl, I need my head read. Fortunately, I just happen to have 7. 8 billion miles of lace weight silk on hand, undyed of course. Like what household would be complete without it? And a 1.25 mm hook and here’s yesterday’s pursuit of perfection. A little better on the readability front and it’s about 8 inches wide, which works much better for me.

Now, the colour issue needs to be kicked around. Obviously, dying it to match the other silk is not going to happen. Can we all say ‘dye lot’? Right -- not a chance in hell I’d ever match it up. I’m contemplating leaving it natural, if I can pull it off without it looking like “I was afraid to dye this” when it’s up against the rest of the shawl. And I think I need to stick with a lighter colour because the dark colours are just going to obscure the lettering.

On the other hand, I could opt for glitter glue and ostrich feathers. Don't sneer -- I'm almost there. Come on -- it's my lifetime ambition to make the cut for You Knit What??

It's a pig jacket

No? Well, I guess I can leave my kindergarden designer tendencies to be put to use with Willie’s jacket. The main jacket is done. Now I’m knitting the yardage for the felted roses…oh come on, you just know it needs it. I have no idea where to put the underarm strap on it so I think I’m going to leave that until I go to Halifax for the fitting.

In any event, I’ve got a kid to haul to the orthodontist and crap to accomplish, so that‘s it for today‘s blather. In yet another moment of madness, I talked myself into taking someone else’s night shifts so I doing four in a row. Probably won’t be blogging much until the weekend. Talk to you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

A very Canadian call to arms

2006-01-23T00:10:00.000-04:00

No whining allowed

Okay, it’s time for the OddBall to get serious. Today is the 23rd day of January, and if you live north of the 49th parallel in that weirdo experiment called Canada, it’s Election Day. And I expect YOU to get off your duff and go vote.

Universal suffrage is rather new to Canada, literally within my lifetime. In the nineteenth century, you had to be a property owner and, oh right, a man in order to have a say in how things are run. Since then, we’ve put a lot of effort into making sure that every person can cast a ballot. During the First World War, arrangements were made so front line soldiers in Europe could exercise their franchise in the 1917 federal election. You didn’t even have to be here to vote with the introduction of the postal ballot.

Women were legally excluded from voting after Confederation. Little known fact is that we could vote prior to 1867 if we had met the property rights requirements but very few of those who met this standard bothered to show up. (Now does that sound familiar?) Women managed to get the vote back in 1917 but could only use it if we met the requirements for exception made for military personnel. In short, in the 1917 federal election, the only women who voted were the military nursing ‘sisters’ in Europe. By 1918, all women could vote in Canada and our first female MP was Agnes MacPhail, voted into the House in 1921.

Of course, all of this was guaranteed only if you were of European descent, more or less. For a long time, members of Canada’s First Nations had to give up their treaty rights and registered Indian status to get a ballot. The legislation that permitted racial and religious discrimination remained on the books until 1960. Historic examples of people denied the vote in Canada because some arse had his knickers in a twist over something included Canadians of Japanese, Chinese or East Indian origins, Mennonites, Doukhobors and Catholics. The 1963 federal election was the first in which the right to vote was truly universal for all Canadians. I told you it was within the OddBall lifetime.

I don’t care where you stick your X on Election Day but you want to be sticking it somewhere. A spoiled ballot is a valid electoral choice. Writing “Mickey Mouse for President” is a valid political statement but none of it counts if you can’t be arsed to get down to the polling station.

What I don’t want to be hearing come Tuesday is the usual litany of lame and stupid excuses for “why I didn’t vote’? And I think I’ve heard most of them by now. Here’s some of my personal favourites over the years.

I didn’t have time.
This is usually whined at me by the person who does the least in the run of a day. You have the same 24 hours as the rest of us. Use 10 minutes of it to vote. And since 1915, under the Elections Canada Act, your employer is required to ensure all employees working on an election day have a clear 3 hour window in which to vote. So, if you work 12 hour shifts, like I do, you get to vote on your boss’ dime.

I don’t know who the candidates are.
It’s okay. Elections Canada print their names on the ballot for you. They even make it easy by putting the party affiliation with the name. Guess work is eliminated.

I don’t know what the issues are.
You live here, don’t you? Do you pay taxes? Do you work? Do you live off someone else’s taxes? Do you drive on the streets? Do you drink water? Breath air? Have you ever consulted a physician? Have you ever attended a school? Do you think we should have backed the American government's latest war effort? Do you think we should insist that the American government start honouring the trade agreements they signed and/or start playing by the same trade rules they expect the rest of the world to abide by? Those are the bloody issues. Smarten up.

I don’t like any of the local candidates.
Do I see your name on the ballot? No? Then shut up and do like the rest of us and make the best choice you can with what’s available. You think the rest of us live in a perfect world? No, my friend, it’s often about selecting the least stupid candidate. Get over it. The rest of us grownups have learned to cope with it and you can too. Ditto for the argument "all politicians are crooks", pick the best/least worse of the lot. It's not complicated.

Let me put it to you this way. Every federal prisoner in for rape, robbery, murder, child molestation and carjacking is entitled to vote. The guy who just pulled jail time for trying to sell crack cocaine to your kids is going to vote today. What else has he got to do? Look for a job? And you’re going to tell me you haven’t got time, energy or inclination to spend 10 minutes at the polling booth. Get real.

The only reasonable excuse for not voting today is a valid death certificate. Oh right, this is the Maritimes, people, where even the dead still exercise their right to vote for two or three elections after shuffling off this mortal coil. It's a wonder there isn't a polling station located inside the gates of the larger cemeteries around here for the convenience of the residents.

So, just get out there and do it. If dead people can vote, so can you. Okay? Thanks for reading; talk at you later if I’m not too pissed about tonight’s results.

Crochet Hell

2006-01-21T23:16:00.000-04:00

Who's idea was this anyway?

My last attempt at crocheting was so successful that you’d think at least a calendar year would pass before I’d pick up one of those hooks and have at it again. For the record, I don’t do it well, and furthermore I hate doing it.

So why, after the passage of a mere ten months, have I picked up those dreaded hooks again? Well, it’s that damn shawl, that’s what it is. After several months of swatching, ripping, tearing and swearing, I finally had the OddBall epiphany on the subject. I’m doing it all wrong. Start OVER.

It’s not that I can’t come up with a border for that shawl. There are a zillion lace edgings, border patterns in existence, and I’ve seriously considered screaming “what the hell?“ and just finishing the shawl. Then it would be down to ‘point,click and ship’ to the Colorado and it would be out of my life, forever. But nooooooo, my issue has been I’ve got a picture of this thing in my head and I’ve been trying to knit the string to make it match what’s in my head. It finally dawned on me that what’s in my head is not knitted. It’s filet crochet, which is all good and fine, except I don’t do crochet.

Apparently I do now. Here’s a puzzler for you. How come when the Voices talk to other people, they get told to commit heinous acts of violence and mayhem and I get told to take up crochet? What? I'm not good enough for the mayhem and pillage team? Hold that thought -- menopause is right around the corner. Fertility drugs made me homicidal. I can hardly wait to that next bit starts.

In any event, back to the issue at hand… the damn shawl. The first bit of this weekend has been spent learning to crochet. Yet again. I have to learn how to do it every time this madness overtakes me. The rest of the weekend has been spent swatching. I think we’re committed to the 2 mm hook. The scary bit is that I have to do this without a prescription for Paxil. Or Oxycontin. There’s something wrong with this here picture, somewhere, but I haven’t figured it all out yet.

Okay, it’s bloody cold out today which reminds me there is a naked and shivering pig in Halifax waiting patiently for Auntie Kate to get her act together. Today’s project is to walk away from the crochet and finish poor Willie’s jacket.

Talk to you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

The Oddball Gets Olympic Fever

2006-01-19T13:07:00.000-04:00

Grab your sticks -- Game ON.

Well, as she often does, the OddBall Universe’s resident psychic -- yes, none other than our own Diana, the Dysfunktional Knitter -- made another one of her eerily predictive statements. She wrote “I think knitting and drinking should be an Olympic sport!”

Strangely enough, around the same time she was typing that on my blog, I was over reading the Yarn Harlot and in a moment of madness, signed myself up for the Winter Knitting Olympics. Technically, I don’t think I qualify because I’ve actually started the project but starting is never my issue. My issue is always finishing. And as regular readers know from my constant on and on about it, I have a silk shawl that is in need of about 20 feet of border -- 16 days to knit 20 feet of 8” wide lace border. It’s not a piker’s challenge. It’s do-able but it’s a commitment. In any event, I did a bit of humming and hawing and despite the fact I was stone cold sober at the time, I bellowed out the OddBall Battle Cry (Oh, what the hell!) and signed up for the Winter Knitting Olympics. In keeping with my biggest source of angst this week, The OddBall’s Winter Knitting Olympic Project is finishing the silk shawl promised the Tyler Hamilton Foundation. I think it's rather fitting, in a lopsided oddball way, considering Hamilton is an Olympic gold medal winner (Athens 2004).

Well, that’s the knitting part…what about the drinking part? Well, Stephanie the Yarn Harlot has those bases covered as well. In yesterday’s column, she covered the dreaded ‘drug testing’ question:

B. Asks "Will there be drug testing?"

No. Although you should be careful to make sure you are consuming enough drugs. (Namely chocolate, red wine and coffee and toward the end...hard liquor.) As for the stronger stuff, I figure that if you can knit a challenge while using any other drugs, good luck to you. It's like that Canadian Snowboarder who won gold while he was high as a kite. Most peoples major feat after going the way of the BC Skunkweed is to successfully locate a bag of cookies. The way I see it, if you can do that while you are stoned, you should get two gold medals. I wouldn't be able to find the snow.

So there you have it. The OddBall has laid her pride on the line and has a nearly full bottle of Aberlour in the whiskey cupboard. Let the Games begin and the shawl be finished!

Speaking of finishing, a note to Willy because I know Willie’s Momma reads this…I haven’t forgot you, honey, and your jacket is almost finished. Auntie Kate will be down soon for a fitting.

Talk to you’se all laters. I have to go swatch. It’s okay -- Stephanie has classified ‘swatching’ as training. Thanks for reading.

Hubris...

2006-01-18T16:45:00.000-04:00

You Knit What??: Stirring Shit UP!

So we got some corporate suits in the United States with the gall to claim they've INVENTED the expression "Stitch & Bitch" in 1997 and copyrighted it in 2001. Here it is straight from the mouth of the clown: "No other usage of Stitch & Bitch ever occurred before the first Friday evening gatherings at Sew Fast Sew Easy in it's [sic] first location 147 West 57th Street ..."

Invented the expression, eh? Nice try at revisionist history. Full marks for sheer gall, even. But, uhhhhhhhh, don't think so. It would be merely amusing if it wasn't for the fact that they're now trying to enforce their copyright by harrassing sewing and craft groups who have used the words "stitch and bitch".

You'd a-thunk that the moron corporate suits might have figured out that it's actually the contraction for it is and that the version of the expression they might want to employ is its, indicating possession. One can only hope their sewing instructions are better than their grammar skills.

In any event, before Madame Elissa K, El Presidente of this tribe of misfit liars and dissemblers of the truth decides that her other creditials include inventing knitting and the development of thread, here's the link to the Cafe Press Bite Me Collection.

I can only hope that Madame Elissa K. had the foresight to also copyright the expression "Kiss My Fanny".

Back off, Liz...

2006-01-15T23:14:00.000-04:00

Get your scarf

And hat

The rest of the weekend was marginally more productive than Friday. To date, I have managed to drag several large bits of crap out of the studio and I have recollection that there is a floor down there somewhere. I’ve wound two balls of wool, knit yet another panel on the pig jacket and have contemplated much.

I’ve also taken up papier mache. I decided I needed some heads to display hats on and well, what can one say about Styrofoam heads other than they are just plain bloody tacky. So in true OddBall fashion, the 30 second acquisition of the Styrofoam head became another make-work project that will stretch out over three or four days. There’s just NOTHING simple in my world, is there?

It’s entirely Liz’s fault, of course. Me and La Famille tracked her and Joe Poet down during her 29th birthday brunch and crashed it. Okay, the excuse was we came to bring her present to her but I digress. I murmurled something about ticky-tacky and she came up with the bright idea of papier mache’ng it with brown craft paper. That’s her contribution this week to world peace -- finding me something else to do with my time.

The project, like all projects in the OddBall crib, ended up with one, but just one, trip to the hardware store. I know I have a crate load of wallpaper paste downstairs somewhere but you’d need a whip and a chair to beat your way through the dust bunnies in that ‘storage room’. There’s a reason the Christmas tree lights and tinsel and boxes of ornaments are still sitting on the far end of the couch. Even the OddBall IT and Technical Support Division is afraid to go down there.

And finally, there’s the completely finished Irish Hiking Scarf, along with the almost complete Irish Hiking Hat. It needs a big tassel at the top and I think ear flaps -- Miss Liz disagreeing with that last bit. As these things usually turn out, I’ll knit them and then decided 10 minutes later to tear them out but until then, it’s in need of earflaps. In any event, she wants to steal it but she'd really prefer if I'd make in rust or burgundy before she commits her minor theft.

And the weekend ended with me doing some Done-Buts™. And just realized that I need to get off my can and design, print or by some means, acquire hang tags for this pile of plunder I’ve got started for the fall sale season. I think that should go ahead without any more than 12 trips to the hardware store, 6 to a stationary store, and I’ll just go move into the liquor store.

In any event, duty calls and it’s back to the grind again for me. Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

And OddBall rants

2006-01-14T15:53:00.000-04:00

Somehow, I'm just not surprised.

Well, I have four days off from work and I should be so very productive. Well, technically, I have three actually if you consider the fact that I slept most of Thursday. Friday was productively spent mailing a package.

No, seriously, other than lunch with Liz, my sum total accomplishments for Friday was I managed to get the shawl for the Tyler Hamilton Foundation charity auction in the mail . One wouldn’t normally consider that a full time production, but then again, one has no idea what an OddBall can do with an extra hour. First, there was that whole bit of the Artist Statement to include with the piece. That took an hour to write and another hour to cut out the pedantic artsy-fartsy pseudo-intellectual horseshit that seemed to fill the thing. By the time I was finished editing it with the use of a Cuisinart and a hate on for humanity, it sounded like it was written by a human being, instead of a complete and total jackass. I hate writing the darn things because the entire function of visual art is to express that which cannot be delineated in words.

Then came the printing of same. No card blanks. I had forgotten that I’d used the last of the blank cards I had here when I did up copies of my mother’s eulogy for friends. Not to fret, there were errands to run in any event. I had to plenty of time to pick up some more, after a brief foray to the post office to find out how to mail this thing to Colorado. Correction, there is NO such thing as a brief foray to a Canadian post office anymore. You can’t just plunk down a box on the bloody counter and say “Mail this here thing to Colorado, US of A, please and thank you -- combien ca, SVP?“. Oh, no, first you have to wade through the categories of surface, small packet, express, expedited, purolated, gizmolated, insulated, insured, antiquated and utterly fornicated. Maximum dimension and minimum densities now ensued and were calculated to 18 decimal points. Never the less, I walked out of there, 20 minutes later, with a very clear idea that it was going to cost me $12 and change to mail the parcel to Colorado.

Remember that number: $12.

Brief foray off to lunch with Liz, whom I hadn’t seen in forever and we went down to the local shop for some card blanks. I was back home in reasonable time with the intention of printing the artist’s statement and packing the entire thing off to its new owners.

NO PAPER. Well, technically, there’s lots of paper here. There are reams of paper here in all colours and sizes and weights and descriptions. I’ve got 20 lb bond, I’m got 24 lb, I’ve got vellum, parchment, card stock. I’ve got nearly as much paper in this house as I have yarn and not one single sheet was right. Not a one.

So, I did the only thing possible, under the circumstances.

I obsessed.

I obsessed that while I had the exact shade in my head, it was not necessarily anywhere in existence and it certainly wasn’t in my collection. I obsessed with what I could do to turn what was in my head to match with what I had on hand. I considered going to the stationary store to find the exact shade of paper in my head but somehow managed to resist. I obsessed some more.

For an hour.

For those of you wondering why I never seem to accomplish anything in the run of a day, in spite the fact that I’m frequently very busy, all day, at accomplishing nothing, that would be the reason. It’s because I can spend an hour obsessing over the fact that I don’t like the shade of pink I have at hand. And it wouldn’t matter if I had 253 shades, weights and textures of pink paper in my hand at the time because, trust me, the shade in my head, would be located right in between two of them. And it would have a higher rag content.

Finally, I get my head out of pink and into blue, which I actually have on hand. I have card blanks that work with blue. I have blue paper. I have blue thread and yarn. I have all manner of blueness. We are now down to a 10 minute job when, wait for it… Printer goes on the fritz.

In any event, with some liberal and loud application of some right proper Anglo-Saxon expressions, the printer was fixed. The thingie was printed. The folding was folded. The tassel was tasselled and affixed and it, and the shawl, were jammed into a box, taped, addressed and it was off to the Post Office to mail it. Time was running short, so before I left the house, I had the sense to make sure I had $12 in my pocket to cover the postage.

The line up at the Post Office started in the parking lot. It was closing time on a Friday and apparently, half the north side citizenry of Fredericton are mailing their worldly belongings to Tuktayuktuk and points further afield. Eventually, I make my way to the front of the line and plunk down my very- well-sealed, custom-declaration-form-affixed-to-the-front-of-the- package, package and the nice Post Office lady, the exact same Post Office Lady as this morning, says “That will be $18 please.”

Apparently, there’s a fuel surtax, and tax taxes and, and, and bloody and, which hadn’t been calculated into the original quote. Thank goodness the credit union was located right across the street. I haven't managed to be 50% off on my calculations on something since the last time I tried to felt something.

So there you have it. The package is away, thrown to the wind and the mercies of the Postal Services and US Customs. And I possibly need a drink.

Talk to you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

Mid-week OddBall update

2006-01-10T13:05:00.000-04:00

The much needed 3rd hand

The Irish Hiking Scarf is done …well, I’m still doing the tassels as of this writing. I’m here to say that the knitting machine makes for an excellent tassel template. Everything holds STILL while you tie off the top portion. I’m a-liking it.

Progress on the pig jacket: It’s still coming. Slowly. I need more teal yarn…Liz, road trip. Screw classes -- this is an official B&L emergency, baby. There’s a pig out there with cold parts.

The shawl the THF is getting

On the other, non-knitting-ish front, the Tyler Hamilton Foundation agreed to take one of my shawls for their annual fundraiser/auction/whatever. I have no idea how they’re going to dispose of it, nor do I really care. They can hold a bonfire for all it matters here in OddBall land.

The shawl I'm still building for the THF

Unfortunately, and much to my disappointment, I didn’t finish the purple silk shawl I had started for them. The border is still being vexatious. Typical, isn’t it? The first 5.5 feet went swimmingly; the last 3 inches might be the death of me yet.

My mother was a very good cook and a very accomplished baker. So, it became a bit of a family joke that her only kitchen disasters would inevitably when she was cooking and baking for a church supper. Things like power failures just as the bread had been put in the oven, pies overflow, salt containers and sugar get swapped. She even had an expression for it. “If you’re cooking for the Lord, the Devil’s in the kitchen”.

Personally, I think the Devil’s taken up knitting.

Never fear, I’ve yet to let a hunk of string beat me yet and I’ll be dipped if this one starts it. The Foundation will get their shawl; it’s just behind schedule in a huge way.

In any event, it’s workies tonight so I need to go grab a nap. Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

More useless stuff

2006-01-07T23:15:00.000-04:00

Half a skirt

Well, this is what I’m doing in my spare time when I’m not knitting jackets for pigs. I’m knitting skirts for Christmas tree balls. It’s a retarded pass time but someone has to do it and Liz isn’t volunteering. Of course, I've made a few changes...more beads. More shiny. Different yarn. They'll hang on different balls. But other than that, they're exactly the same.

It’s back to work tomorrow. I’ll talk at you all laters; thanks for reading.

The happiest member of the OddBall family

2006-01-06T00:41:00.000-04:00

Portrait of contentment

Urgent Blogspot communique arrived yesterday. “Hurry. The Pig if freezing."

I’m here to bet that not many family communications start off with that sentence but I’m not the lone wingnut in this OddBall Family.

Meet Wilbur..aka Willy, aka Total Cutie-Pie. I’ll confess that last year I thought my sister had lost her mind when she said she’d adopted a pot-belly pig. The woman has three kids (2 teenagers and a preschooler), a husband, 2 cats, a gecko, a dog, a demanding career. Now that’s a household that needs an addition to it and what else would she need other than a pig?

Yup, I was ready to have her committed. And then Willy arrived in my life, vicariously. I met Willy last year when he came to Grandma’s (our parents) home for Christmas. I had absolutely NO intention of liking this ani-mule, let alone falling in love with him. But what can I say, he’s a charmer.

Okay, I’ve revised my opinion on pigs as pets. They’re loveable and heart stealers. I haven’t revised my opinion on my sister. Having seen how much work a pig is, I still think she’s insane, as she tries to organize that crew of three kids, husband, career, cats, dog, gecko…..Fish. I forgot the fish. Ringley Bros. travels lighter than she does on vacation. And please, don’t ask how pigs travel. Let’s just leave it at NOT WELL.

So, at the end of the day, as much as I love Willy, he’s an enormous amount of work, so there’s no pigs headed for the OddBall crib. But I can satiate my piggy requirements by knitting him jackets. I hope to have it ready for felting by tomorrow.

Talk to you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

Gauge and tension...

2006-01-03T21:04:00.000-04:00

Scarves in two gauges.

Okay, well, what did you do today? My day was largely occupied by sleeping and ripping and a bit of knitting.

First the ripping part: I went to sew on part 3 of the pig jacket to discover that in my wild madness, I had made said part 3 too long by 32 rows -- at the start of part 3. I hummed. I hawed. I think I even pondered but there was NO get out from under the mistake. Trust me, I tried. So, in a fit of “oh for the Love of Saint Peter” (or something spelled vaguely like that), I ripped it asunder. Tore it out completely and rewound the yarn. Now that’s a frogging you can stand up and be proud of.

Then, last night, while I was in conference with several other knitters -- that’d be Joan, Becky and Meagan, we came to the unanimous conclusion that the tension on my Irish Hiking Scarf was too tight. I had a sneaking suspicious about mile marker 8” inches that it was too dense but soldiered on. Last night I took it into my head to recast the scarf on size 6 mm needles. Much, much better. So size 6 it shall be. The size 5 mm is just too dense for a scarf. You want a bit of drapey with a scarf, in my opinion.

All is not lost however. I took into my head that I could use the size 5 used to be a scarf for the foundation for a hat. NO frogging there, you’ll all be glad to hear. It’s getting recycled.

And where's the pictures of the pig jacket? Well, it's not much to look at right now. It's a huge chunk of teal Briggs & Little singles knit up too loose on a knitting machine with two smaller chunks to be added. Use your imaginations -- rectangle in teal. That's it to date. Not terribly photogenic, I'm afraid.

Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading. I'm knitting ALL day tomorrow.

Happy New Year

2006-01-02T11:29:00.000-04:00

More scarves

Well, I must admit the blogging kind of went to Hell in the proverbial hand basket over the holidays. It was hard to write about what I wasn’t technically knitting -- namely some presents for my co-workers. The scarf on the left belongs to Princess Becky and the one on the right is Meagan’s. Not shown yet is Joan’s because it hasn’t been back to work yet…something about seniority and not needing to work the Christmas holidays springs to mind.

The middle one is that Irish hiking scarf I stole from Diana. Oh, fine, be bloody technical then. I didn’t steal the scarf. I stole the pattern from a link on Diana’s blog. You all happies now? There’s more to come. I’m about three quarters of the way through knitting the pig jacket. That’s another column in and of itself.

Right now, it’s nap time. I have to work tonight and for some strange reason, the City has an expectation that I’ll stay upright with my eyes open for all of it. Good grief, they lack a sense of humour. You’d think they paid me for all this.

Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

PS: the ubiquitous New Year’s resolution is to keep the ‘Blog a little more up to date than the last month. The sporadic was just not cool for this OddBall. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday.

Merry Christmas ...

2005-12-24T23:08:00.000-04:00

Merry Odd Ball Christmas...

‘Twas the night before Christmas,
And what was a-happenin’?
The OddBall was knitting,
Instead of a-napping.

Actually, for a change, this is not the case. The last two days have been most disconcerting because I’ve been done and ready to roll. No chucking things at my head because the only reason I’m ahead of the game is I’m working this Christmas and what wasn’t done by the 22nd wouldn’t be done.

Lots didn’t get done. Which is fine because I think people won’t remember what I didn’t do but are likely to remember if I completely blow a gasket and strangle some unsuspecting person with my headset. Self-induced stress is not a viable homicide defence in most jurisdictions.
Not that I’m normally in such a gruesome mood for the holidays -- it just the TV is all sweetness and light these days and I’m sorely short of my daily diet of mayhem and murder.

Oh, and for the general amusement of all…I spent the past month knitting like a woman possessed. I made 3 hats and assorted scarves for co-workers. The plan was to post the accomplishments to the ‘Blog when I finally unchained myself from the knitting machine. Alas, the night of the 22nd came and went and in my frenzy to get the damn things wrapped to take to work for 0700h on the 23rd, I completely forgot to photograph them. I'll try to sneak in some 'found in the wild" shots if I locate them again, now that they've grown up and moved on .

Yeah, typical. It’s not the I lose my mind over the holidays -- this is pretty much a 365 day a year performance. In any event, co-workers liked my presents. I got some cool things back in return.

I’ll get back to the ‘Blogging after Christmas. I’m off to Halifax (weather permitting) to visit my sister and her pig. NO, that is not disparaging remarks about my really sweet brother-in-law or any of my three totally great nephews. Wait until the next blog -- I’ll send pictures. I’m knitting the pig a coat. Seriously. Ask Liz.

All right now, time to go make stuffing for that bird. What the hell was I thinking? I lost my mind in the grocery store and bought -- get this -- a 9.83 kg -- that’s 21 lbs for turkey -- for 3 people’s Christmas dinner. Am I mad? Don’t answer that!

Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

And everyone, have a Merry, and possibly even a tasteful, Christmas holiday. For those of you who don’t celebrate, have a good week in spite of it all. Would you care for a turkey sandwich anyway??

PS: Like the art behind the tree? Silas Robinson -- remember the name. He's a lad who's going places.

And the lucky winner is...

2005-12-12T20:36:00.000-04:00

Some lucky Oddball Friend, Family member or maybe even someone I actually like and respect is going to get this for Christmas.

Back off, it's the Temari Ball on the left. The incredibly cute kid is just a rental. No expenses spared on modelling fees for this Blog...no, not us.

More on Temari balls later when I finish staring at it and determine exactly how out of your mind you'd have to be to do this. The artist, by the way, is the blonde chick's now crosseyed Momma, aka Jackie. That there Temari ball has been blogged twice now, which is pretty much the Marysville equivalent of being picked up the Museum of Civilization.

For the record, all of you who were wondering about our road trip to Briggs & Little, it still stands. It was a sucessful SEX kinda moment. The only one we were missing was Diana.

I'm currently chained to the knitting machine, when I'm not dabbling in the dye pot, so it's back to the salt mines for me. Yes, Diana, I got the tag and I'll post it as soon as I actually lay hands on my knitting bag. Talk at you'se all laters; thanks for reading.

The rewards of home felting

2005-12-12T03:59:00.000-04:00

Riches beyond compare

Oh, I’m just so very excited. I can hardly contain myself. I went downstairs the other day and you’ll never guess what I found -- I think that the OddBall IT Help Desk and Technical Support Division bought me a set of home felting machines for Christmas. They’re not so big as you might expect but look very solid in their white enamel jackets. The one on the left you can put dirty clothes in and some soap and half an hour later, the clothes are all wet but much cleaner than before. It also has a ‘hot water’ button (what will these engineers think of next), which activates the ‘felting function’.

I tried it out the other day because I just couldn’t contain myself. I used several pairs of jeans to help balance the load. According to the directions on the lid of the left hand one, load balancing is very important to the felting function. I put in the keruffle scarf and voila, I now have a shorter but much feltier kerfuffle scarf.

And…ohhhhhhhh and this is the bestest part….the machine gives money back. Look what I found in the bottom of it when I took the jeans and everything out -- $12. I’m sure this machine will pay for itself in short order at this rate.

Today, it’s Briggs & Little run for Jackie, Liz and this here OddBall. Yeah, I actually do NEED more yarn. Honest, it’s not some scam I’m pulling on the OddBall IT Help Desk and Technical Support Division, in spite of his misgivings on the matter.

I’d tell more but…okay, the hard part about having a knitting blog where you’re supposed to blog about knitting, is that

a) you have to have knitting in order to blog or

b) you have to be able to blog about what you’re knitting.

I’ve had a few occasions over the past nine months where I had nothing knit to blog about. This time, it’s worse yet again. I’m stuck in the hideous situation of Door # 2. I have a zillion things knit, part knit and in desperate need of being finished knitting around or about the 25th of this here month. The bad part is that many of the persons for whom this knitting is destined read this blog so if I talk about it here, they know what they get for Christmas which totally kills the whole point of having it wrapped up in pretty paper in the first place. You all following this? Of course you are -- I have the smartest readers ever.

And no, dammit, I have no intentions of finishing that sweater, so just enough with the pouting.

In any event, the adventure continues. I’ll talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

The ker-ruffle continues...

2005-12-04T19:59:00.000-04:00

Help, my mother's an OddBall.

It’s hard to hold your head up in public when your mother is a certified Weirdo. Get used to it, kid…I haven’t hit menopause yet. There’s plenty more wacky where that came from. I've still got a full complement of estrogen -- wait until that stuff starts running low.

On the knitting front, one would think that 4,738 rows of knitting would suffice for a scarf. WRONG. It was about half enough for a scarf. I suspect the writers and editorial staff at KnitWords have their head firmly up their keister. In the instructions for this Rufflemania Scarf (page 10), they give the pre felting dimension of this scarf at 7 x 78”. After felting, it’s supposed to come in at 5 x 72”. We’ll see when I haul mine out of the washing machine, but I’m willing to bet that I’m going to see a whole lot more shrinkage in the felting process than 8%. In any event, the 4738 rows of short row ruffle was NOT enough. I ended up knitting another zillion miles of it.

I also figured out (I think) a better way of putting this thing together. I had most of a ball of wool left so I did up my way and put it into felt with the other one.

Of course, given my track record with the felting, I suspect I just wasted a week’s worth of time and 400 grams of otherwise innocent wool. We’ll see. We’re officially in spin mode now.

Enough with the commentary from the cheap seats! And that includes you, Liz.

Talk at you’se laters; thanks for reading.

The OddBall is Ruffled

2005-11-27T12:36:00.000-04:00

Four thousand, seven hundred and thirty rows later...

While faithful readers of this ‘Blog might have reason to fear that the Odd Ball has tossed in the knitted towel and taken up tatting as a means of preserving her (in)sanity, fear not. The OddBall still knits.

Some time tonight, when I get off my ass and do the Donebuts, I’ll post the hand knitting I’ve been labouring at but in the meanwhile, I wish to crow about the machine. I’m going to have to send said machine into the shop because I don’t think the memory drum is working right. I decided this after the second crack at this felted, ruffled scarf that I’ve been working on for a week. My machine is supposed to be able to do slip stitch patterns with a punch card but it was not working. It wasn’t knitting it; it was just eating the yarn. Originally, I blamed me and sat down and very carefully repunched the card. Nothing doing, it was still eating the yarn.

Fortified by several cans of Alexander Keith's India Pale Ale, the OddBall cried, "What the hell?" and threw herself at the machine. I know how to do short row knitting on the machine without a damn card and so I did. Four thousand, seven hundred and thirty some rows of it, to be exact. Now, it’s merely a matter of putting the scarf together and then having it not felt in the washing machine like everything else I’ve ever tried to felt.

I do have incentive to get it done today. Liz and I are scheduled for coffee tomorrow morning and I want to show off. She’s up to her ass in alligators getting ready for a Christmas craft show next week and I’ve been busy saving the world, training others to save the world and torturing small bits of yarn.

Talk to you’se all laters when I get this damn thing out of the washing machine. Thanks for reading.

Tie it on and run

2005-11-20T17:36:00.000-04:00

More scarves and a very friendly model.

I’ve been in hand-knitting scarf mode for the last while. I have quite a pile of them now. It’s a good project for me. I finish them before I get bored. And it's a great way to relax after spending an hour cursing that kniting machine. I’m again in fight mode with the knitting machine. I know, hardly news, is it?

Tonight I’m going to re-punch the card. I took last week’s unmitigated disaster down to the Christmas at the Market where I ran it past the machine knitters in attendance at the craft show. Opinions vary from the drums have crap in them to the native stickiness of wool. I’ve been working with Briggs & Little singles.

I did take Lucia, the Knitting Fiend’s advice and carefully checked my needles. I did have one that was wonky and replaced it but I think that couldn’t have been all the problem. Logically, if it was a needle causing the problems, it would have been consistently the same stitch. I cleaned out some fuzz from the drums and with luck, I’ve got the problem sorted.

I’m back to having problem with the machine. This time, I’m trying to use a punch card to do short row partial knitting and this time, I really do think it’s the punch card. I’m going to re-punch it tonight and be a little more careful. I think I’ve spotted the two holes that are causing the hang up on this one.

In any event, I’m back to working straight nights. Things are a little nuts at work with trying to train 6 new dispatchers and we’ve expanded our 9-1-1 coverage area. Last week, I actually worked my regularly scheduled shift and that was by total accident. By the way, the blonde model in the picture is my co-worker Becky aka Princess… and yes, she answers to Princess. Becky just finished her first knitting project, one of those Bohemian scarves with the twisted fringe down the side. She did a great job and is starting on dishcloths. Now if we only convince Craig to pick up the needles. I’m going to tell him his performance assessment depends on it, or is that considered blackmail? I’ll call my union rep in the morning.

I hope all you folks out there in Blog land are doing well. I know with this time of year and Christmas around the corner, none of us seem to have a lot of time to update the Blogs. And since I know I’m in perfect half-arsed mode these days and probably won’t update this again for yet another week, Happy Thanksgiving to our American cousins.

Tonight, I’m going to bead that fuzzy pink scarf and re-punch the slip knitting card. And clean my studio. And find a cure for cellulite. And invent a cocktail for Diana. Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

I've had better days

2005-11-12T20:59:00.000-04:00

Nice idea but...

After several hours and countless attempts, the final score for the weekend is:

The Machine - 6

The OddBall - 0

Piss poor execution

Today’s exercise in frustration was trying to do a Fairisle scarf. It's listed in the damn kniting book as 'advanced beginner'. That would be the beginner with 30 years of experience kind of beginner.

Damned if I can figure out what in the name of ever loving blue blazes is wrong with this ever-blessed, utterly fornicated pile of unspeakable crap. It’s putting stitches in the wrong places. My theory is … well, this is supposed to be a family friendly column, so let’s leave it with the Possessed by Aliens Theory. It’s the only reasonable explanation I can come up with other that than the operator of said pile of crap is not nearly liquored up enough to operate it. I really don’t think knitting and sobriety were meant for each other. Yes, Diana, I'm going to name a cocktail after you yet...

I've had a multitude of go-arounds with this thing today and yesterday. At the end of it, I can say I'm down two skeins of Briggs & Little yarn and I managed to ruin the finish on the dining room table marking the punch cards. Don't ask...it involved a Sharpie marker and a moron who forgot that the little punchie card blanks have little holes in them.

So, I’m grabbing my sticks, my string, and a bottle of vodka. I’m putting my feet on the coffee table, I’m going to go knit something that won’t make me swear. And I’m going to watch death, chaos, destruction and murders and other wholesome diversions. And if the OddBall IT and Technical Support Division doesn’t like it, he can just go do laundry or something equally useful.

Talk at you’se all laters, possibly after Detox; thanks for reading.

PS: That new Cranberry Sparkle 7 Up…excellent with vodka. Beats Fruitopia by a mile.

I'm back at it

2005-11-10T12:17:00.000-04:00

New scarf

I’ve tried writing this ‘Blog several times this week but my life is so boring, I fell asleep at the keyboard each time. Work, it seems, is conspiring to interfere with my ability to screw around and just do what I want all day. The nerve of them there bastards!

Okay, I’ve been on a major hand knitting binge, having been humbled once again by The Machine. Last night, having slept for the first time in what feels like months, I’m all ready to have at the Universe. Today, I’m feeling like I can take on the world so I’m tackling The Machine again. The real incentive: Machine Knitters guild meeting is on Monday and I have nothing for show and tell. I can’t very well show up there on Monday and announce “Hi, I’m Kate and I’m a total loser.” Nothing like having your pride on the line to get you off your ass.

Details, details...

In any event, here’s the latest scarf offering. I’ve got about another 6 inches to do on it. It’s done in Paton’s Galaxy, a yarn I was so prepared to utterly hate but fell in love with last year. Just to give it a little textural interest, I’ve randomly inserted a row of elongated stitches, roughly every 4-6 rows.

In any event, I’m off to stare down The Machine. Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

Oh what the hell...

2005-11-02T20:51:00.000-04:00

OddBall Bling-bling

Apparently, your OddBall correspondent is having flashbacks to the ‘80s and that evening soap opera, Dynasty. But, I’m liking it anyway. I’m going to make some more just for the hell of it. I actually like it, but as the Bird Flu scarf shows, I have absolutely no taste whatsoever.

Speaking of tasteless, I found out about this contest too late to enter. The Bird Flu scarf would have been a contender, I’m sure.

Well, I’m back to the needles. Something a little more subtle this time, not that it will be accused of being tasteful.

Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

The OddBall Vacation

2005-10-29T09:36:00.000-03:00

My latest two scarves

I’m still trying to grind my way through the DoneButs that have accumulated in every corner of the house. You’ll all be relieved to know that the Bird Flu scarf is now beaded and blocked. It’s still hideous.

It’s been bit of a strange week. On one hand, I’ve been dealing with an almost 10 year old who is going to go completely insane before her birthday on Tuesday. The girlfriend party is today, complete with treat bags etc. The family party is probably Wednesday. I can actually remember when birthdays were a one day event and NOT an week long festival. Man, where did the last decade go?

And then my dad brought over a big huge lot of my mother’s stuff. For those of you who aren’t regular readers, or are new to the ‘Blog, my mom Eileen died in April. I have stacks and stacks and stacks of just amazingly hideous yarns now. There is enough 1970s Phentex to open a museum exhibit, along with the requisite bags and bags of undone projects. I took the plunge and threw them all out before I got it into my head I could recycle the yarn or something.

There’s been some cool stuff as well. My mother’s weaving notes and her dye sample books. Those I’ll keep as a memory.

And Dale, my hairdresser, loved the mohair scarf I made to go with his black wool jacket. It’s the same yarn as here, except I did it in the knit 2 rows, purl 2 rows instead of lace.

I found another pile of my unfinished projects. I have another week’s vacation and I’m going to see about getting through at least some of those. But of course, we all need a ‘in front of the television’ project, so I’ve got two new scarves on the needles. One, I’m not so impressed with…that would be the black one. The other is going to be all right, I think. It’s the seafoam stitch which I’ve always hated because I’ve always done it in the WRONG yarn. Then I read to use mohair yarns for those elongated stitch patterns and it rather fills it in.

In any event, it’s time to rock and roll for the birthday party. Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

The OddBall goes to Sesame Street

2005-10-27T07:48:00.000-03:00

Do Not Adjust Your Set

For those of you still labouring under the premise that I may still possibly be in my right mind, I offer the following as proof to the contrary. The last couple of days have been spent largely with me catching up on a month’s work of missing shut eye and cleaning up some of the crap that’s accumulated in the OddBall crib. After such labours as the Domestic Goddess, a girl really needs to sit down in front of the telly with a set of sticks and just knit something silly.

Apparently, I went to hell with the joke. I have no idea what this yarn is. I have three balls of it. It’s variegated eyelash something or other. It’s subtle like a brick in the head but it made me smile. I cast it on Tuesday night and knit a ball’s worth. I probably will do extra time in purgatory for not quitting while I was ahead but I figured I need another unfinished project about as much as I need a punch in the mouth and I persevered beyond all dictates of common sense or even good taste.

Last night, I finished the knitting and was holding it up at arm’s length, admiring it in the fullness of its garishness when the OddBall IT and Technical Support Division wandered by.

“That is the ugliest scarf I’ve ever seen in my life.” Nothing quite as heart-warming as fashion commentary from a man who still finds dressing himself a major life challenge.

I stood back and admired it again, under the greenish glare of the fluorescent lights in the kitchen. “You know, I happen to think it looks exactly like Big Bird with a dose of the chicken pox.”

Over the top and then some

So there you have it folks, the OddBall interpretation of the bird flu. And I ask, what’s a potential global pandemic without a few dangly bits? Exactly. So I spent the rest of the evening, plunked in front of the television, watching Dalziel and Pascoe on BBC Canada and beading the damn thing, like I was somehow in my right mind. Nothing like counting a zillion itty bitty seed beads while indulging in a little murder, psychopathic savagery and of course, suicide, to take the edge off the evening.

I rest content knowing that somewhere, some 10 year old is going to love it and think it’s the most beautiful thing going. My inside source in that demographic thinks it’s gorgeous.
Today, I’m going to see if I can’t redeem myself for having inflected this upon the unwitting world. Talk to you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

Doing the DoneButs.

2005-10-25T19:27:00.000-03:00

I know, I’ve been a bad ‘Blogger. Very bad blogger.
We’re back to the age old issue that its so much easier to write about knitting when you’re actually knitting. I have the next 10 days off from work and this chick is going to get some knitting done.

I’m on round two of the mohair scarf. The original version -- HOLD THE FREAKING PRESSES -- is all done. I mean DONE. Not 90% done. Not almost done. Not done except for …it’s DONE. Done to the fringes. Done to the ends darned in. Done blocking. Bloody done. Okay, the fringe needs trimming, but other than that, it’s done.

Mission 1 this week…getting the done but’s done. I’ve got 3 or 4 baby sweaters that are done but… and a half dozen Christmas stockings that are done but..

Mission 2: making a pair of socks on that knitting machine. It’s really bugging me that I can’t do what I want on that thing and I’m taking a steady run at it this week.

Mission 3: who are we kidding? I’ll do good to accomplish those two.

Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading. Updates on my current levels of frustration will be posted on a semi-regular basis.

OddBall Vacation

2005-10-18T21:19:00.000-03:00

Half the scarf

Well, the sock has pissed me off. It’s off the machine. Unfinished. Scheduled for demolition.

The dishcloth pissed me off and it’s off the machine. Unfinished. Scheduled for demolition.

The scarf pissed me off and it’s…are we detecting a trend here?

Two days ago, you could have bought that knitting machine for $1.98 and I would have thrown in free shipping and about a million miles of yarn. So, in order to calm my unsteady nerves, I did what I like best, sit on the couch and knit. I mean REAL knitting… I’m all anti-machine knitting this week. Two sticks and a ball of really nice mohair. You have to admit, there is something cosmically weird that I’m so stressed out from knitting that I need to knit to relax. Yeah, I know…try living in this body.

The up close and personal view

This is the same ‘pattern’ I made in the spring, basically 2 repetitions of Old Shale or Feather and Fan for those of you who prefer that label. This time I added the much needed selvage stitches. I’m liking it. It makes me happy.

Tomorrow, we try the damn machine again.

Talk to you’se all laters; thanks for reading.

Not exactly what you call progress...

2005-10-16T10:57:00.000-03:00

The bug's eye view of the knitting machine and sock under construction

The knitting front is going more slowly than I might like. I’m trying to build me a sock. Good luck with that, OddBall. Honestly, if I was hand knitting, I’d have the damn thing done by now.

I know, I need to give myself a break. This is the first crack at circular knitting and it's only the second time I've used the ribber.

Big ol' box of goodies...because they were lonely and they made me take them home.

The Yarn Guy was in town. I bought yarn. Yeah, like I needed more freaking yarn. But this was coned yarn and in the light weights I can’t buy around here. I’m sure the OddBall IT and Technical Support Division (toting and hauling department) will reserve commentary for later.

Short post today, I’m going to go back and see if I can’t win on the sock front. Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.